Christmas in Colorado

We went to Colorado for Christmas and had a wonderful time with all the kids. It was so great having all of my children, my daughter-in-law, and my granddaughter all together. I did learn that I have forgotten what it's like to have a two year old.

My very adorable granddaughter had quite the adventures while we were together. She found a crayon and decided to decorate the large window in the living room. She then decided that a bedroom upstairs needed some additions. She found my daughter's liquid cover-up, took the cap off, then jumped up and down on the bed splattering said make-up all over the comforter, the sheets, her brand new Christmas outfit, and the carpet. It is now a permanent reminder of her visit there.

And then she found the water. She filled the bathroom sink with some shoes and some toilet paper and turned on the faucet. She didn't, however, turn off the faucet. The water filled the sink then ran all over the floor, found the heating vent, and followed it to the ceiling in the basement. By the time we discovered her surprise, the water had soaked the sheetrock in the ceiling and had soaked the couch and carpet beneath. Fun times! It's a good thing she's so super cute.

It snowed the day after Christmas, which was beautiful. We got to play in the snow, make some snow angels, and have a few snowball fights. 

It was wonderful seeing family and friends and enjoying the holidays in Colorado. I miss family and friends and I miss those snow-capped mountains!

A Day in the Life

When my son was born and then diagnosed with Down syndrome I was worried he'd be a blob. So wrong. So, so wrong. Last week he decided it would be fun to shove a toy in the drain of the bathroom sink. And then turn the water on. Yep, water overflowed the sink and there was about an inch of water on the floor. We ended up removing the entire drain to take the toy out and replacing it with a new drain. While we were at our speech therapy appointment, the therapist left her phone on the table. My son quickly got into her text messaging and sent texts to her friends. I'd meant to warn her not to ever leave her phone within his grasp because he's an electronics whiz. (His favorite is to call 911, so I was relieved he hadn't done that). Yesterday, I took some leftovers out to our dog. When I came back to the house, my son had locked me out of our glass door (and all the other doors were locked). He stood there, grinning and laughing. I asked him to open the door. No way. Begged him. Not a chance. Bribed him with a treat. No dice. Told him he was in trouble. He simply laughed and left me fuming on the front porch. Thankfully, one of my other kids was inside and finally let me in after about ten minutes of standing there. Last night, I had to go to town to take my older son to repair his braces. We stopped at Walmart to get a few things. I called home. Who picked up the phone? My youngest son. He proceeded to "talk" to me. I asked him to take the phone to someone else. He said no. I begged him. Not a chance. Bribed him with a treat. No dice. Told him he was in trouble. Again, he laughed and kept going on and on in gibberish. I finally hung up. A blob? Not even close. Just a day in the life with my son.

World Down Syndrome Day

Today is World Down Syndrome Day. March 21st. 3/21. Trisomy (3) of the 21st chromosome.

Some things I've learned about Down syndrome:

1. It isn't scary
2. It makes me look at things differently
3. Those with DS still have unique personalities and aren't blobs
4. People with DS have talents
5. People with DS can learn, understand, and remember
6. There's still many misconceptions about DS
7. Those of us who love people with DS just want others to accept them for who they are.
8. People with DS don't want to be cured, they want to be loved and respected
9. People with DS aren't happy all the time, they experience a range of emotions
10. Though there are challenges, it's challenging to raise any child

In a perfect world, we'd recognize that those with DS are not the ones that are handicapped. They are not the ones who have the disability. Those of us without DS are truly the ones with the handicap and disability because too often we let things that don't matter get in the way of what's important. We decide we don't like someone because he/she was unkind to us. We hold grudges. We are judgmental. We have conditional love. We can't see past imperfections. We let pride color our decisions. We are selfish and self-centered. We don't want to be around someone who is different. We are too uptight to enjoy life. We don't laugh enough. We don't hug enough. We don't love enough.

Today, let's celebrate those who have that extra chromosome and realize it isn't a bad thing. People with DS can and do offer wonderful things to our society. We need to be willing to see the person inside instead of being distracted by what's on the outside. I have never met anyone who, after taking the time to know someone with DS, regretted knowing that person. I have never met a parent who wished he/she didn't have his/her child with DS.

Here are a few photos of my son who has his own distinct personality. He is full of love and life. He makes us laugh and brings a joy to our home that's indescribable. I am thankful every day that the Lord chose me to be his mom and only hope I can be the kind of mom he deserves.

Baptism #9

My ninth child was baptized last month. She shares a birthday with her older sister so we had a big celebration. Child #9 was baptized by her older brother who was ordained a priest in November. I love these "parent paydays" when I can watch an older child honor his priesthood and then use it to bless the life of his sibling. The brother who baptized my daughter was baptized by his older brother about 8 years ago. It is such a blessing  to see my children baptized, especially by a sibling.

Life whirs by me so fast I can hardly catch my breath, I can't believe I have 9 children now baptized as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It seems as though I was just holding #9 in my arms a few days ago. Children grow so fast.

She was so excited about her baptism that she made invitations to it last summer and couldn't wait to invite everyone to her special day. She was a little disappointed that friends from school didn't come, but we had lots of family and ward members that supported her. She was doubly excited that she'd lost a couple of teeth before her baptism. Life can be so exciting when you're 8.

I'm so proud of her and feel so blessed!

And She's Off . . . To Disney World

Early Monday morning, I'm talking 4:00 am, we drove my oldest daughter to the airport so she could fly to Orlando to begin her Disney college program. She'll be gone until mid-August. I'm super excited for her, but a little sad that she'll be so far away. I'm sure she'll have the time of her life living in Florida and meeting all sorts of interesting people. She said that she's already met people from all over the world and she's realized how boring she is because she's white and only speaks English.

She met her new roommates and boggled their minds because she's Mormon. One of the girls had never met a Mormon before. Then, she told them she had 10 kids in her family and that really blew their minds. It's odd to me that in this day and age someone could actually live in the US and never meet a member of the Church. Of course, I've always lived in the west so maybe back east it is a novelty to meet a Mormon.

Even though I will miss her, I'm sure this will be a fantastic experience and one she'll never forget.

A Long Month

November was a very long month as months go. Seems like our family was hit with trials all at once. Through these experiences, I've been able to learn a few things.

1. There is no peace like the peace that comes from God. He is there to comfort us and help us when things are difficult.
2. God wants to bless us, even in times of difficulty. One of the sweetest ways is through priesthood blessings.
3. I am raising eternal children and an eternal family. Activities are fun and watching them develop talents is important, but everything is secondary to living the gospel.
4. Don't stress about the small stuff. It's okay if the house is messy or the meal isn't gourmet or my shoes don't match my purse. Stress about what is truly important: saying prayers, studying scriptures, attending meetings and the temple, serving others, family unity, having FHE, focusing on the Savior, and living the gospel--the rest of it doesn't matter too much.
5. Prioritize the most important things.
6. Love others as the Savior does and don't be selfish with blessings. Kindness and love go a long way in soothing a soul.
7. Heavenly Father knows and loves each one of us and He watches over us and inspires others to help when necessary. It is our responsibility to be prepared to be inspired. What a blessing it is to see this in action.
8. Don't be so judgmental and critical of others' actions or inactions because you just don't know what they may be struggling with or what burdens they may be silently carrying. Better to give someone the benefit of a doubt than to assume something that isn't true.

Life is a beautiful thing. It is such a blessing to live in mortality and to learn to rely on God. He knows all and understands all, even when we don't, or especially when we don't. If we learn nothing else in this life, we must learn to trust in Him.

I am truly thankful for all that I've been blessed with. I don't live in a mansion or drive a fancy car. I'm usually dressed in sweats with no make-up. I don't go on exotic vacations every year or get may hair and nails done each week. But, I have what matters most. A loving, honorable husband who is steadfast and immovable and loves me and our children, children who are trying to make the right choices each day and showing me how to be a better person, extended family that quietly serves and sets a Christlike example for me, and I have the most important thing of all, the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Speech Therapy Rant

I am quite aware that my son has Down syndrome. I have been aware of that for over five years. I also freely admit that he has a speech delay and may have other struggles down the road. It is no secret that he has Down syndrome and I took off my rose-colored glasses years ago.

I have never sent any of my children to pre-school or kindergarten. I am a SAHM and I have chosen to teach all of my children to read and do math so when they enter school in first grade they are prepared. My children enter school reading 2-4 years above grade level. I take my responsibility as a parent very seriously and want to make sure my children are life-long learners. Not all parents would make the same decision as we have regarding pre-school and kindergarten. We are fortunate that we have the opportunity and freedom in our country to make the decisions we feel best serve our individual children and it does no one any good to be judgmental of those decisions.

For the second day in a row, I was judged for my decision to homeschool my son. I was chastised by a professional today who has never met my son and knows nothing about him. I was calling to get information about speech therapy in my area and instead was treated like a horrible mother because I did not enroll my son in school at three years of age so he could receive all the services he needs. Umm, excuse me? How can someone who has never met my son decide what services he needs? Unless of course he's lumped into the "Down syndrome box" where every child with DS needs every available service. Any child that needs services should absolutely receive them, but I strongly disagree with the idea that all kids with Down syndrome are the same anymore than all kids without Down syndrome are the same. Not all kids with Down syndrome need all services. My son no longer needs physical therapy and has never needed occupational therapy (according to his doctor and previous therapists).

He does need speech therapy but because he is not enrolled in school he cannot receive it unless it is through a private speech therapist. The problem? Finding a private speech therapist is next to impossible. So, my taxes go to pay for these state services but my son cannot use any of them because he isn't in school. Did it occur to anyone that one of the determining factors for my husband and I to feel comfortable in sending him to school will be his ability to communicate verbally? The very service they are denying him is exactly what he needs to be able to attend school in the future.

My son is not ready for school away from home yet and we can make that decision because we are his parents and know him and his abilities better than anyone else. In fact, he is currently enrolled in a virtual kindergarten program we do every day at home and he's doing fine. He can match letters and recognizes all the letters of the alphabet. He understands "the same" but not "different" yet. He is also learning his numbers.

Don't get me wrong, he can totally communicate but he needs to be able to do so verbally. All I want to do is find a therapist that can help him do that.

A Time Capsule from My Mom?

I'm on pins and needles . . . .

My mother was part of the first graduating class of San Marcos High School in Santa Barbara, CA in 1961. She was very active in her class. She was a cheerleader and a Homecoming princess. This weekend that class is celebrating its 50th year reunion. In addition to the regular reunion activities, they will be opening a time capsule.

My mother passed away in 1973 when I was a little girl. I never had the opportunity to really know her. I remember that she was beautiful, something I can see in photos. But, I never knew her personality. Was she funny? Compassionate? Kind? Silly at times? Strong? Sensitive? Did she believe in God? I honestly don't know.

Since my father had passed away in 1968, after my mother's death my sister and I lived with our maternal grandparents. I often asked my grandmother to tell me about my mother but her memories were more about surface things like how she wore her hair and what clothes she liked. Grandma never really shared much about what my mother was like inside, the kind of person she was. As a result I've yearned for information about my mom, wondering through the years if I'm anything like her.

This time capsule has me very intrigued. I wonder if my mother put anything in it. And, if she did, what she put in there. Will it give me a glimpse into her life? Into her personality? Will there be a letter? A photo? I'm so curious, almost ridiculously so, because I feel like after all of these years without her, I might have some communication from her. Of course, it wouldn't be to me because I was born a few years after the time capsule, but maybe she left something that will give me some insight into her.

I don't even know how I'll find out about the capsule. I have contacted a friend whose mom was one of my mother's friend and who is in charge of the reunion and I'm hoping she'll let me know if there's anything in the capsule from my mom. Until then, my mind is racing with all sorts of possibilities.

This is a family photo when I was about 6 months old.

My mother and me when I was about 7 weeks old.

Christmas. Grandma had a flocked tree with the same decorations for years and years.

We're in the backyard of our house close to the beach in Santa Barbara.

Provo and Eternity

We spent last weekend in Provo, UT. All of my older kids live in Provo so it makes it nice to only have to travel to one place and we can all be together. Even though there are so many of us, I love when we're all together.

We've lived in CO for almost 17 years. We've been working to make our home and surrounding land self-sustaining and we've put a lot of time and money into our property. I love living in the country. I love having the space. I love the quiet (well, that's relative considering I have so many kids). I love the dark nights and the sky filled with sparkling stars. I love the country lifestyle. I love the privacy. I love so much about living here.

And yet, I feel myself pulled toward Provo because that's where my older children live. I realize they may not live there forever, but, right now, they do and I feel this pull. Of course, we aren't going to move right now so I have to settle for visiting them. I love to visit them, but I'm always so sad when we leave. I miss seeing them every day. I hate leaving part of my family in another state.

Yes, that's part of life. I know they need to grow up and move on and live their own lives with their own families. But, no one ever prepared me for this part of mothering. No one ever told me how hard it would be to let my kids leave. No one ever told me that I'd miss them this much. My husband teases me that I need to cut the umbilical cord, but I don't want to. Where did all the years go? How did it zip by so fast?

Knowing how I feel now, I cannot imagine facing eternity without my family. I think hell for me would be being separated from my family forever. And that gives me a tiny glimpse into how Heavenly Father feels when we make choices that separate us from Him. I'm sure He is as desperate to spend eternity with all of His kids as I am to spend it with mine. I can only hope that each member of my family will make the choices that will allow us to be together forever. I want my family to be eternal.

Parent Paydays

My daughter graduated from seminary on Saturday evening. This is my 4th graduate. I'm very proud of her for getting up on school days by 5:00 am to get ready and attend seminary at 6:00 am before going on to school and, sometimes, being at school for play rehearsal until 9:00 pm. She has never complained about going to seminary and I've been so impressed with her knowledge of the scriptures.

She spoke in the graduation ceremony. She shared a conversation we'd had about how I remembered the exact moment I received my testimony of Joseph Smith. She said in her talk, "I was like, come on, Mom, you really remember that after all these years?" Everyone laughed at her implication that I was too old to remember such an experience and then she went on to share her own experience of when she received her testimony of the Savior and it was an exact time. She then said, "So, yes, Mom, I can now say that I remember exactly when I received my testimony of the Savior and I will never forget that moment." She then bore a strong and powerful testimony of the gospel which made my eyes leak. A parent payday for sure.

Last night my eighth grader did her Life Presentation to "graduate" from middle school. Eighth graders present their lives to their teachers, family members, and any special people they invite. My daughter's presentation began with her family. She made a slide show, set to music, with lots of photos from the family, including our trip to Disney World in December. The slide show then included photos of the temple,  the 13th Article of Faith and the Young Women's theme, and then photos of the Savior. Her slide show concluded with photos of her friends, which included her siblings, her cousins, and some girls from church. It made me all teary to see her presentation. I had not previewed it nor did I have any idea what she'd present and it made me feel so happy inside to see what's important to her. A definite parent payday.

Every once in a while we get those amazing parent paydays and when we do, it's wonderful and it makes me so grateful that I have such an incredible family and I feel so very blessed to have these people in my life.

A Weekend of Gratitude

This last weekend we drove up to Provo to celebrate my son's birthday with him and to attend my daughter's choir concert. Preparing to travel is always a huge chore. I have to make sure all the clothes are clean, make sure the younger kids have enough underwear, make sure everyone brings church clothes and shoes, and make food to eat on the drive. I also like to clean the house so when we return it's to a nice clean house.

Friday I was pushed for time and had worked all day to pack and prepare for this trip. I wasn't very excited by the time we planned to leave because I was so tired and I was frustrated that my kids kept making messes instead of helping me get ready to go. I even considered cancelling the trip, but knew I'd regret that.

Saturday we celebrated my son's birthday from the moment we got up. I can't believe he's 24--wow! Time goes by so fast. I'm really glad we could celebrate with him and his wife because, for me, nothing is better or more important than being with my family.

My daughter sings with the Latter-day Celebration choir from the Institute at Utah Valley University. She has a beautiful voice, but in high school she had little confidence in her talent. Even though I tried to convince her of her talent it seemed that others' words held more weight than mine at the time. I was thrilled when she auditioned for this choir and made it in because, finally, she could believe in her talent. As I watched her perform at the Little Theater at the Salt Lake LDS Conference Center, I couldn't hold the tears back. The show itself was so uplifting with songs about the family. I've seen a bazillion productions, but most of them weren't spiritually nourishing as this one was. I could feel the Spirit as these college kids sang familiar hymns, Primary songs, and even some contemporary songs that all had to do with the family. They interspersed quotes from the general authorities and used a scripture that really hit me hard:

"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth." 3 John 1:4

This is so true for me. My greatest joy is to see my children living the gospel and to know that those who've left home continue to live the gospel, to attend the temple, and have the desire to teach their children the gospel.

I was very grateful to not only feel my testimony grow during this choir show, but to also see my daughter shine with such joy on stage. To finally see her share her talent without hesitation was an enormous gift to me. I am so glad we decided to attend her concert and take part in such an uplifting and inspiring event.

I am so thankful we could spend time with all of our kids this weekend and celebrate my son's birth. I remember it so vividly--the very first time I became a mother. I am so thankful that my son and his wife are working so hard to live the gospel and that family is so important to them. I'm also so thankful to see the man he's becoming.

My heart is very full from this weekend and I'm very thankful I didn't let frustration get in the way of enjoying such a wonderful weekend.

Announcing . . .

My daughter is engaged. Woo hoo!! They plan to be sealed in the Manti Temple in August. We're all very excited. We love her fiance. He's such a good kid--strong testimony, hard worker, kind, fun, treats her like a queen, exactly the kind of young man I wanted her to find. I'm thrilled for her!

I'm also a little sad that she'll leave the nucleus-stage of my family and enter the stage when she will  create her own. Yes, this is what I've raised her for. I want her to create her own eternal family. I want her to experience the joy of marriage and celebrate each life that they'll create for their own family. But, I didn't know the time would pass so fast or come so soon. I've spent the majority of my life focused on my husband and children. I enjoy them and love to be around them. We always have so much fun together.

I knew everything would change when my son got married--we'd add another daughter to our family and they'd begin their life together, but I'd already let him go to serve his mission. I'd already adjusted to his absence from the family for two years. I absolutely love his wife and I'm so glad he married her.

Now, it's time to let my daughter go to start the next stage of her life. I'm so happy for her. I know this is the right choice for her. I'm proud of her for waiting for the right kind of young man and for setting her goal to marry in the temple and sticking to it. I guess I just didn't think it'd happen so fast.

I'm thinking I'll have a full and busy summer ahead of me, but it's all good. I'm excited to go dress shopping, though I'm sure I may shed a few tears.

A Reminder

I sometimes get very caught up in emotions with my writing and my books. I'm thrilled when someone writes me an email and tells me she likes my book and I'm sad when I get a two-star rating at Goodreads. I work hard trying to figure out how to market my books while squeezing in time to write new ones. It's quite a balancing act on all counts.

Today, though, I was reminded of what truly matters and brings me the most profound joy besides the gospel: my family. My youngest son (who is 3) was playing a game that his older sister received for her birthday. You hook it into the TV. It's similar to Wii games, except for young kids. For this particular game, he had to recognize shapes and then touch the corresponding shape on a mat. I showed him how to touch the shapes so he'd know how to play the game. I then watched him and was completely amazed that he correctly identified shapes over and over again. He won the game several times and clapped his hands. I jumped up and down. Seeing him understand that game gave me such joy. I'm so thankful to see him learn and grow. I know that no matter what, Heavenly Father will bless him to do exactly what he needs to do despite what doctors may say. I'm so grateful for all of my kids and my wonderful husband.

For me, it was a reminder that while my writing is imporant to me, my family is more important. 

My Choice to Stay Home

After I had my first child, I told an old college roommate that I planned to stay home and take care of him. She replied, “How totally boring. You’re just going to stay home? I can’t imagine being stuck like that.”

Now, ten children later, I do not regret that decision. In fact, I have never regretted choosing to stay home with my children. People wonder how we can afford to raise so many children on one income. The answer is simple. Heavenly Father has blessed us to be able to do so. For me, staying home with my children has always been about exercising faith—not just about being able to financially do so, but also that my staying home will benefit my children.

I vividly remember struggling financially early in my married life. I’d graduated with a bachelor’s degree and it seemed like the answer was for me to go to work. Yet, my husband and I had made the commitment to keep me home. Faith preceded the miracle. Once we put our faith in Heavenly Father and then had a trial of that faith, he blessed us. And he’s continued to bless us in so many ways.

Over the years, I’ve received comments about the decision to stay home. My grandfather, who raised me, told me on several different occasions that I was wasting my life raising a bunch of kids. He said, “If I’d known you were going to waste your education raising kids I would never have encouraged you to go to college.” I don’t see my education as wasted at all. In fact, I believe my education has made me a better mother.

I have a solid testimony of following the counsel to stay home and raise my children. I shudder to think how my youngest son would be doing if I were not home with him reading to him, talking to him, playing with him, and encouraging him to strengthen his muscles. It’s a fact that no one cares more about my children than my husband and I do. It’s also a fact that no one can better serve my children, especially my youngest son, than I can as I stay home.

It is a privilege and honor for me to be a wife and mother. I have never wanted anything else. Perhaps, it’s because I felt cheated as a child since my parents died when I was so young. Maybe it’s because I always wanted a big family like the Brady Bunch when I was growing up. Whatever the reason, I am so thankful each and every day that Heavenly Father has blessed me with a large family and that he has blessed me with the opportunity to be able to stay home and raise them.

I do not judge those who make a different decision than I have. Everybody has to make their own decision when it comes to staying home. Not everyone is in a position to do so and it’s not my place to stand in judgment of anyone’s decision because I have not walked in anyone else’s shoes. I do believe wholeheartedly that if moms have the desire to stay home and are willing to put their faith in Heavenly Father, he will provide a way. I’ve learned in my life that Heavenly Father always provides a way to accomplish a righteous desire and staying home to raise a family is certainly a righteous desire.

I love being a mother. I love watching the kids play together. I love seeing their first steps, hearing their first words, and listening to them when they first begin to read. I love the choking hugs and sloppy kisses. I love to eat (well, maybe not all the time) sandwiches made by my 5-year-old. I love to listen to them interact with each other and play games together. While I don’t enjoy the fighting, whining, or complaining, I love to see them realize they’ve done something wrong and apologize for it. I love to hear them bear their testimonies and explain points of the gospel. I love to watch them develop their talents and share those talents with others. I love to see them serve each other and those around them.

Of course, being a mom isn’t all sunshine and roses and I’ve certainly experienced some hard times, but all in all, I don’t regret my decision to be a mom or to stay home with my kids. It may not be easy, but it is definitely worth it. I have no doubt that our families will bring us the greatest joy.

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Housekeeping and Homemaking

There is a difference between housekeeping and homemaking.

Housekeeping

This includes cleaning and caring for the house. Keeping an orderly house is important for the Spirit to be able to dwell there. “Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God” (Doctrine and Covenants 88:119). The Lord wants us to be organized and to keep our houses orderly because his Spirit cannot dwell in chaos.

I know that when my house is messy I feel stressed. I don’t feel like I can concentrate on anything except trying to get the house clean. With such a large family, it’s quite a challenge to keep the house tidy (especially with two young children I affectionately refer to as Tornado #1 and Tornado #2). I do assign each child chores that need to be accomplished every day because it takes everyone’s cooperation to keep the house clean. I simply don’t have enough time in the day to clean up after so many children and also do laundry, cook, pay the bills, and the other things I need to do to keep the house running smoothly. Besides, it’s important to teach children to work and to contribute to the family by helping with the housework.

When the house is clean, I feel so much better. I love to see an empty kitchen sink, vacuumed carpet, and sparkling bathrooms. It’s brought me to tears when I’ve come downstairs to find that my kids have washed dishes and cleaned the kitchen, especially if I haven’t had to beg them to do it.

Housecleaning is really no fun. Who wants to swish a dirty toilet or scrub boogers off the wall? But, it’s essential to keep the house orderly to have a house of God.

Homemaking

Homemaking is taking care of the spiritual, emotional, and temporal needs of each member of the family. It includes teaching, leading, loving, and serving members of the family. If homemaking were a career, it would include: nursing, psychology, linguistics, mathematical expertise, taxi-driving skills, juggling, reading specialist, humorist, writer, scriptorian, organizer, fundraiser, mind-reader, encourager, and comforter. Of course, those who study homemaking are usually expert diaper-changers, nose-wipers, and baby-talkers.

Homemaking encompasses the divine role of being a mother. The world seems to mock those who take their role of mother seriously. There are no worldly awards or recognition for those who spend their lives devoted to guiding and rearing righteous children. In fact, many look down on women who choose to stay home rather than pursue a career.

David O. McKay once said, “No other success can compensate for failure in the home.” At the end of our lives we will not be asked how much money we made, what kind of house we lived in, or what career we had. We will be asked if we raised our children in the gospel, if we had family prayer and scripture study, if we kept our covenants, and if we, by example, taught our children to be like the Savior. We will never do anything more important than what we do within the confines of our own homes. The influence of a righteous mother (and father) can be felt for generations.

Both housekeeping and homemaking have a place in our lives and both are intertwined. As we strive to do both, Heavenly Father will bless us and magnify us and at the end of our lives he will say, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant . . . enter thou into the joy of thy lord” (Matthew 25:21).

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What the Savior's Birth Means to Me

On December 19, 1968 I awoke early and told my father goodbye as he left for work. I even rushed to my bedroom window to watch his car leave our cul-de-sac and drive along the road out of our subdivision. I didn't usually wake up early to see my father off, but I did that day.

My mother took my baby sister and me Christmas shopping. We ended up at my grandmother's house later that day to spend the night. Long after we'd gone to bed, I was awakened by the ringing of the telephone. Though I was quite young, I realized that the late-night phone call meant my life would never be the same. My father's mortal existence had ended in a mangled heap of a car on a dark, unlit road. He was such a young man filled with so much life and vitality. He'd hardly had a chance to live. He had a promising career, a beautiful wife, and two young daughters. His funeral was on Christmas Eve.

Every year I think about my father and his short life. I think of what could have been and, of course, I wish this story had a different ending. But, I also find great hope and comfort as I celebrate the birth of the Savior. Because Jesus was born into mortality, willingly chose to lay down his life, and was then resurrected, so too will my father (and my mother, my grandparents, my father-in-law, other family members, and my friends) be resurrected. The birth and life of the Savior means that I will someday be reunited with my father and all of those I've loved and lost.

The Savior's birth makes it possible for me to someday have the family I didn't have in mortality. Yes, it's been hard not having my parents. Yes, it makes me sad that they both died before they could see and know my children in mortality. Yes, I've often wished to build a time machine to go back and know my parents. But, in the eternal scheme of things, time is only relative. The significance of the birth of Jesus transcends time and heals the aching heart.

His birth means that I can have an eternal family and that brings me incredible peace and joy.

Gratitude for All Things

“And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things, and obey not his commandments” (Doctrine and Covenants 59:21). Clearly, the Lord expects us to be grateful and to recognize that everything comes from him.

“And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more” (Doctrine and Covenants 78:19). If we recognize the Lord’s hand and receive all things, whether blessings or trials, with a thankful heart, we will be made glorious, perhaps even exalted.

My sister-in-law is a great example to me of someone who is grateful. She sends out thank you cards for everything. Each year after we’ve presented the Primary Program, she writes a note to all of the Primary kids expressing her gratitude for their presentation. She even writes thank you notes for birthday cards she receives and for thank you notes she receives. She is so thoughtful and always expressing her gratitude. She amazes me.

What one person may see as a blessing another may see as a trial. Being the mother of a large family has blessed my life immensely. I’ve always wanted to be a mother and to have a house full of kids. However, I have met many who think having so many kids would be a trial. I’ve been told that I’m crazy, that I’m selfish, and that I’ve contributed to the overpopulation of the world (that’s one of my favorites because I live in such a rural area that we can literally drive in some areas for several hours before we see evidence of people). Most people shake their heads and tell me they’re happy they don’t have to care for so many children. To them having a small family is a blessing. For me, a small family would’ve felt like a trial.

Every day I am thankful, and honored, that Heavenly Father chose me to be the mother of my youngest son who has Down syndrome. He is a miracle to me and I can’t imagine my life without him. I knew many years ago that he’d come to my family and have no doubt he’s part of my eternal family and has as much purpose in this life as anyone else. I have never been angry or upset that he has Down syndrome. I have always just been grateful to have him in my life, as I am to have all of my children. Yet, there are those who’ve told me they would never want a child like my son. People feel like having a son with DS would be too great of a trial for them. So while I am so thankful and happy to have him in my family, others would not be grateful at all.
Since I lost my mother more than 35 years ago, I have always been so thankful for the opportunity to be a mother and to have time with my children. I’ve outlived my mother by more than 15 years and each day of each of those years, I’ve been so grateful to have that time with my family and be able to give my children what I never experienced.

I know there are things that I would see as a trial rather than a blessing. I see people who deal with things I couldn’t handle, and they do it with thankful hearts. While gratitude may be in the eye of the beholder, perhaps, one of life’s greatest lessons is to learn to be grateful for everything, including our trials. A loving Heavenly Father sees and understands far more than we do. We simply need to acknowledge his hand in all things and be thankful for all he’s given us.

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Save the Family

The song was written by Joy Lundberg and Janice Kapp Perry.

Our nation is only as strong as our families. We must do our best to strengthen our families.

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