Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Whitney Award Nominations

Don't forget to nominate your favorite books by LDS authors for Whitney Awards. Nominations will end at midnight December 31, 2008.

If you've read a great work of fiction by an LDS author, please nominate it for a Whitney Award.

The Whitney Awards were first instituted for books published in 2007 in an effort to recognize excellence by LDS authors. Finalists will be announced in mid-January and winners will be announced at the Whitney Awards Gala following the LDStorymaker Conference April 24-25, 2009.

You can view the list of books eligible for a Whitney Award at LDSPublisher or at Write Bravely. You can also view eligible books by members of LDStorymakers here.

So, go now, and nominate a book or two!

Monday, December 29, 2008

Honor Covenants: Samson's Downfall

I’ve been studying the Old Testament. Recently, I read the account of Samson. His parents desperately wanted a child. A messenger came to Manoah’s wife and promised her that she would bear a child that would, “ . . . begin to deliver Israel out of the hand of the Philistines” (Judges 13:5). The Lord wanted to make a great leader out of Samson. He blessed Samson with incredible strength. But, Samson’s weakness for women prevented him from becoming a great a noble leader among the Israelites. It’s hard to understand why Samson would engage in such a dangerous game with Delilah. He must’ve known she wanted to know the secret to his strength in order to destroy him but he continued to play the game until it cost him his eyes, and then his life.

As a kid, I’d heard about Samson and his long hair. I believed that his strength literally came from his hair. I thought that each hair on his head somehow endowed him with great strength. I thought it was a little strange that his hair could be so strong or could make him so strong, but I couldn’t come up with another explanation.

Now I understand that it wasn’t the actual hairs that made him strong, but rather his hair was a token of the covenant between him and the Lord. Once his hair, or token, was gone, the Lord no longer blessed him with strength. Samson’s hair is similar to our garments. We wear garments as a token of covenants that we’ve made. The fabric of the garments doesn’t have any magical powers. It is the act of worthily wearing the garments that allows the Lord to bless us.

Samson became distracted and lost sight of his covenant. He may have been so mesmerized by Delilah that he didn’t give much thought to the token of his covenant. Perhaps, he didn’t believe anything would come of his losing his hair. Whatever the case, we can learn from the story of Samson that the Lord will not be mocked.

When we make covenants, or promises, we need to be committed to keeping them. In the temple, we take upon us additional covenants. We need to remember how sacred those are by wearing our garments and not altering them in any way.

When we honor our covenants, the Lord blesses us. We may not receive strength to kill 1000 people with the jawbone of an ass (Judges15:15), but we will receive the strength we need to deal with our trials. Heavenly Father is eager to bless us. The more committed we are to keeping our covenants, the more he can heap blessings upon us.

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Friday, December 26, 2008

Importance of Education

“Seek learning, even by study and also by faith" (D&C 88:118).

After my father’s death, my mom was unable to provide a living for my sister and me. She didn’t have an education, or any skills, so when she was widowed at such a young age she was almost helpless. She struggled to find a job and a way to support our family. It was difficult and as a young girl, I made up my mind that I would never be in the same situation. I determined to receive my education so if the situation ever required me to support my family, I could. I graduated from BYU with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Communications.

Thankfully, Heavenly Father has blessed my family and me and I haven’t had to face the same situation as my mother nor have I had to work outside of the home. I’m very thankful for the blessing to be able to stay home and raise my children and have a strong testimony of the blessings that come from being able to stay home.

I was once told by a family member, “If I’d known you were going to waste your education raising children, I would never have encouraged you to go to college.” Is my education wasted on my children? Absolutely not. My education makes me a better mother.

In For the Strength of Youth it states, “The Lord wants you to educate your mind and improve your skills and abilities. Education will help you to be an influence for good in the world. . . Be willing to work diligently and make sacrifices to obtain learning. Education is important to the Lord and he will help us to obtain it.

The Lord has counseled us to understand “ . . . things both in heaven and in the earth, . . . that [we] may be prepared in all things" (D&C 88:78–80).

An education is never wasted because the knowledge we attain in this life will go with us to the next. “Whatever principle of intelligence we attain unto in this life, it will rise with us in the resurrection. And if a person gains more knowledge and intelligence in this life through his diligence and obedience than another, he will have so much the advantage in the world to come” (Doctrine and Covenants 130:18-19).This is especially true of the gospel knowledge we attain, but also applies to secular knowledge.

The more we can educate ourselves the better. Education, of course, is not limited to schooling. I’m confident that no matter how many parenting classes I could take, nothing could teach me about parenting like having my own children. We have the opportunity to gain knowledge all around us, but the best place to gain the knowledge that will help us eternally is in the scriptures and from latter-day prophets.

After all, “The glory of God is intelligence . . .” (Doctrine and Covenants 93:36).

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Wednesday, December 24, 2008

What the Savior's Birth Means to Me

On December 19, 1968 I awoke early and told my father goodbye as he left for work. I even rushed to my bedroom window to watch his car leave our cul-de-sac and drive along the road out of our subdivision. I didn't usually wake up early to see my father off, but I did that day.

My mother took my baby sister and me Christmas shopping. We ended up at my grandmother's house later that day to spend the night. Long after we'd gone to bed, I was awakened by the ringing of the telephone. Though I was quite young, I realized that the late-night phone call meant my life would never be the same. My father's mortal existence had ended in a mangled heap of a car on a dark, unlit road. He was such a young man filled with so much life and vitality. He'd hardly had a chance to live. He had a promising career, a beautiful wife, and two young daughters. His funeral was on Christmas Eve.

Every year I think about my father and his short life. I think of what could have been and, of course, I wish this story had a different ending. But, I also find great hope and comfort as I celebrate the birth of the Savior. Because Jesus was born into mortality, willingly chose to lay down his life, and was then resurrected, so too will my father (and my mother, my grandparents, my father-in-law, other family members, and my friends) be resurrected. The birth and life of the Savior means that I will someday be reunited with my father and all of those I've loved and lost.

The Savior's birth makes it possible for me to someday have the family I didn't have in mortality. Yes, it's been hard not having my parents. Yes, it makes me sad that they both died before they could see and know my children in mortality. Yes, I've often wished to build a time machine to go back and know my parents. But, in the eternal scheme of things, time is only relative. The significance of the birth of Jesus transcends time and heals the aching heart.

His birth means that I can have an eternal family and that brings me incredible peace and joy.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Sing a Song for Christmas

I have a story published in the December issue of the Friend.

Here's a link to the story if you'd like to read it. It's based on a true experience I had with an elderly neightbor.

Interestingly enough, this story is making the rounds on the internet. I keep seeing it posted on different sites, which is pretty cool.

I hope everyone is enjoying the last few days before Christmas. We're getting slammed with snow and will definitely have a white Christmas. My kids are counitng down the hours until Christmas Day. Can't wait!!

Merry Christmas! May you all be blessed with the peace and joy of the season.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Friends

Friends are an important part of our lives, especially when we are teenagers. As I think back to my teenage years, I attribute much of my activity in the Church to my friends. When I was in 7th grade, I was invited to attend Mutual by Michelle. She encouraged me to come to Mutual and participate in the activities and she befriended me. She always made me feel comfortable and part of the group. To this day, we are still friends and I’m very thankful she invited me to attend Mutual.

Michelle moved to Utah when we entered high school so I became friends with a boy named Robbie and a girl named Kate. Robbie was a few years older than me, but he and I spent many hours together discussing the gospel. He never made me feel stupid because I knew so little about the gospel.

My friend Kate stuck by me through thick and thin in high school. We talked about everything and she, and her family, allowed me to see an active LDS family in real time. Kate encouraged me to keep the commandments and was my escort at the temple when I received my own endowments. Kate’s life has since taken a different direction and though we aren’t close anymore, I’m so thankful for the time she spent with me and will always be grateful for her influence in my life.

Friends should always encourage us to be better and to do the right thing. “They will greatly influence how [we] think and act, and even help determine the person [we] will become” (For the Strength of Youth, p. 12).

My children have friends who live very different lives from them and have completely different value systems. Yet, their friends still encourage them to keep their standards. When my son was offered alcohol, his friend immediately jumped in to say that my son didn’t drink alcohol. My daughter has a friend that’s a Buddhist. Though they disagree on many core beliefs, this friend has defended my daughter’s beliefs over and over again. He has always supported her and encouraged her to follow her values.

Sometimes, we advocate that our kids only find friends that are LDS. While we want our children to choose friends wisely, if we shut ourselves off from others who aren’t of our faith how will we spread the gospel message? My kids’ friends may not be interested in the gospel today, but when they think of their friendships with my kids, hopefully, they will see the Church in a positive light and perhaps somewhere down the road they will be interested enough to investigate.

“To have good friends, be a good friend yourself. Show interest in others and let them know you care about them. Treat everyone with kindness and respect. Go out of your way to be a friend to those who are shy or do not feel included” (For the Strength of Youth, p. 12). Of course, the most important reason to attend church is to partake of the sacrament and strengthen our testimonies, but we can have a dramatic effect on others if we extend our friendship and make sure they feel included. A good friend can be the means of helping others to not only find the Church, but to remain active in it.

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Friday, December 19, 2008

Bailout Barfs

So I'm not a big fan of the recent bailouts. Why are we bailing out the banks and the automakers? Is it a great idea that the government is going to own these companies and/or the retirement funds? Aren't we edging ever so much closer to communism (you know, when the government owns everything and then decides who gets what). Scary things are definitely happening.

But, the worst thing I've heard so far is that Planned Parenthood and other abortion suppliers want to be part of the government bailout. What does that mean? That even more of my tax dollars are going to allow people to end the lives of millions of innocent unborn babies. The idea makes me so sick, I feel like barfing.

I can't believe our society has degenerated to the point that abortion is not only approved, but even encouraged. Is it any wonder that our society is so violent and murderous when we don't even value the life of a baby? We live in a society that sees nothing wrong with killing unborn babies and now that society wants us to all pay for it.

As if bailing out companies that should've kept a better eye on their bottom lines wasn't bad enough . . .

Rant over.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

We Are What We Say

“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good” (Ephesians 4:29).

When I was first married, my husband and I were visiting his mother for the weekend. While we were there, her home teachers came over and taught a lesson on profanity. The older home teacher shared some scriptures and admonished us to use good language. He closed the lesson with a prayer and then we walked him and his companion to the front door. As he walked through the front yard, we could easily hear the cuss words that left his mouth before he made it to his car. This same older gentleman noticed my husband one Sunday at church when we were visiting a different time. He used a few choice words, in a loving way of course, to recognize my husband. This exchange happened while we were in the chapel. I quickly moved just in case a bolt of lightning hit. Apparently, he was still working on the whole idea of not using profanity.

I grew up with my grandparents and profane words were commonplace. I believe it was part of their generation and, honestly, I don’t think either one of them even noticed the profane words in their speech. As a kid, I didn’t notice it much. It was so common to hear cussing in my home that I became desensitized to it.

My husband’s family never used profanity so we adopted that rule in our home. It was always interesting to go back to visit my grandparents because my sensitivities had changed and suddenly I noticed all of the profanity they used, as did my children. Every time one of my grandparents would say a “bad” word, my kids would turn to me in utter shock. We eventually learned to deal with the differences in vocabulary without offending my grandparents.

I always find it so disappointing when I attend a movie and the language is coarse, or worse. I’ve actually walked out of movies with bad language. Thankfully, we own a device called the TV-Guardian that allows us to remove foul language from television shows and DVDs.

When I am at the high school, or even in town shopping, I hear obscenities. Sometimes, I’ve turned to the group of kids using that language and asked them to please not say such words in front of my children. Surprisingly, some of them actually respect my request. For the others that ignore me, I always wish I could pull out my TV-G and zap them with it.

As a writer, I find the words of our language mesmerizing. We have been blessed with so many descriptive and beautiful words. When we use profanity, we shortchange our listeners, and ourselves, because we aren’t using the specific language that would best communicate what we’re sharing.

I love the sounds of words. I love to play with words. I love to learn new words and then use them. My kids constantly challenge the words I use and tell me I’ve made them up. Just a few days ago, my son looked up volatile because he didn’t believe it was a real word.

Latter-day prophets have counseled us to avoid profanity and obscenity in our speech. Our word choices communicate to others what is important to us. The more we can avoid profanity, the better because, “How you speak says much about who you are. Clean and intelligent language is evidence of a bright and wholesome mind” (For the Strength of Youth, p. 22).

My father-in-law used to say, “Whatever you’re full of, runs out your mouth.”

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Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Jack Frost Snow Day

Yesterday we had a snow day because the storm dumped about 8 inches at our house and even more in town. Snow days are rare in our school district so we decided to make the most of the day off.

We bundled up, found our sleds, and went sledding on the hill behind our house. The kids all had a great time playing in the snow. My youngest didn't enjoy the snow so much but he endured it. My four-year-old grabbed a sled and went down the hill by herself. She screamed all the way down and laughed when she crashed into a pile of powder. We had snowball fights and chased each other in the snow.

When we were all plenty soggy we trudged into the house to warm up by the fire. I made chocolate chip cookies and hot chocolate with whipped cream. We then watched Christmas movies for the rest of the day, including Jack Frost with Michael Keaton and Kelly Preston.

I love Jack Frost even though it makes me cry every single time I watch it. If you haven't seen it, you should. I love, love, love the ending. It was a perfect movie to end a perfect day.

I don't understand why my kids all moaned and groaned when they had to go to school today :).

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

New Website

For those of you who've read my blog before you know that I have a son with Down syndrome. It doesn't bother me at all that he has an extra chromosome. He's absolutely adorable, he's healthy, and he's full of fun and life. I've known for years he was coming to my family, though I didn't know he'd have DS. But, I knew he'd be coming at some point. I have no doubt at all that he was meant to be in my family and every day I am so grateful for him, just as I am so grateful for each of my children.

What does bother me about DS is the attitude of others. When my grandfather (who is now deceased) found out a friend of mine was having a child with DS he said, "Can she get rid of it?" (translation: can she abort the baby so she doesn't have to be bothered with it?). For whatever reason, our society seems to think that unless you're perfect, you don't matter. The fallacy in that line of thought is that no one is perfect. We all have struggles and we all have problems. Is it worse to not read at grade level or to throw away an education? Is it worse to not understand sarcasm or to give it so freely no one knows when you're serious? Is it worse to love everyone regardless or to only choose a few select individuals to love?

In the eternal scheme of things, who's really handicapped?

In an effort to change some attitudes and maybe, just maybe, make the world a little better place for my son and the 350,000 Americans (with 5000 more babies born each year) with DS, I've created a new website. I want to show the world that having a child with DS is an honor and a privilege and, in reality, isn't much different than having other children.

The website address is www.downsyndromeassociation.org.

My hope is to turn it into a much larger site complete with a forum so people can come to a safe place (no judging allowed) and ask questions. I'm still working on that aspect, but for now I'd appreciate any input or comments to help me improve it. And, please, pass the link to anyone that might be interested.

Thank you for helping me to change one attitude at a time :).

Monday, December 15, 2008

Wise Use of Time

When I was a newly-married BYU student, I had a written assignment due in one of my classes. I’d refused to use a computer because I felt comfortable with my electric typewriter and I understood the typewriter. After much persistence, my husband convinced me to use a computer for my papers. I agreed and started working on this written assignment that counted heavily for my grade. Unfortunately, while in college I hadn’t developed a good planning schedule and I was trying to complete this paper the night before it was due.

As I neared the end of my paper, I looked forward to seeing how the computer could help me write a better paper by allowing me to edit right on the screen and use some strange new contraption called the spell checker. I decided to grab a quick drink of water before I finished the last page. I walked back to the computer, across the carpet, and touched the keyboard. Zap. Everything on the computer went dark. Yep, I’d shocked it and in the process lost all of my work. To say that I was devastated would be an understatement. The hour was late and as I stared at the black screen, it was too much for me. I went to bed resigned to the fact I’d receive an F and possibly have to take the class over again. I was in a crisis situation.

(The rest of the story: when I awoke the next morning, I found my paper typed up and ready for me to turn in. My sweet husband sacrificed his entire night to finish my paper).

Many times, we can avoid such crisis situations if we plan ahead and use our time wisely.

1. Prioritize. We need to determine what things are most important and which need to be accomplished first. I like to use the list method to write down everything I need to do and then accomplish my most important tasks, like reading my scriptures, first.

2. Eliminate. Some activities or things that take up our time may not be worth our time. We need to eliminate those things. When I was a kid, my grandfather was retired and he watched soap operas every day. I watched them with him and continued to watch them even after I was married. One day, it hit me. I could be spending that time doing something much more worthwhile.

3. Improve Habits. If we can make our work and study time more effective and useful we can accomplish more each day. I’m always amazed when one of my kids can take an entire afternoon to clean his or her room when it should’ve only taken an hour.

4. Realize Limitations. There’s only so much time in a day and we only have so much energy. We need to realize that we have limitations and only commit to that which we can realistically do.

We need to be careful to not overschedule ourselves. In Mosiah 4:27 we’re admonished, “And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in orfer.”

When we are stretched beyond our capacity, we often neglect the most important aspects of our lives such as reading and pondering the scriptures, family home evening, praying, or spending time with our families.

It’s important that we take time each day to relax and enjoy our kids, read a good book, exercise, scrapbook, or participate in other uplifting wholesome activities that provide us with peace.

We all only have 24 hours a day. Some of us make better use of that time than others. At some point, we will be held accountable for how we use our time. If we use it wisely, not only will we be able to avoid most crisis situations, we will also accomplish more and waste less time.

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Friday, December 12, 2008

Jesus: The Reason for the Season

Every year our elementary school has a Christmas Program—at least that’s what it used to be called. It’s now politically incorrect to refer to it as a Christmas Program. It was the Holiday Program for a few years but is now called the Winter Program.

When my oldest daughter was in 2nd grade, she played the part of Mary and we had a program based on the Nativity. It was, by far, the best program I’ve ever seen our elementary school perform. Since then, we’ve had shows about penguins, Hansel and Gretel (another daughter played Gretel), the Abominable Snowman (my son played that part), and coyotes. This year it’s about musicians and a Hopi myth. While I like to learn about other cultures, having a program about Hopi Indians, instead of the Nativity, during the Christmas season seems out of place to me.

Our elementary school shies away from anything religious. My question is always, “If our program isn’t about celebrating Christmas, why do it in December (one of the busiest months of the year)?” I have yet to receive an answer to that question.

I’ve noticed over the years that while many minority groups have enjoyed greater respect and inclusion (as they should), it’s been at the exclusion of Christian groups. Our school district bends over backwards to accommodate every group under the sun except Christian groups. We aren’t allowed to pray in school. My nephew was told by a teacher that he couldn’t pray at all in school, not even silently. He responded that he could pray anywhere, anytime and no one could stop him.

If we claim a belief in God, more and more people scoff at the idea. People have gone so far as to claim that Jesus is a myth and the whole Nativity story is fashioned after the story of the Egyptian God Horus. They say that the Christian believers made up the story of Jesus and wrote the Bible in an effort to perpetuate the myth. They claim the Bible has been fabricated and cannot be a reliable historic source because those who kept the records only did so to fool people into believing Jesus was born and then crucified for our sins.

The only way we can know if the story of the Christ child is real or fabricated is to receive our own witness of the truth. Once the Holy Ghost has witnessed to our spirit that Jesus did in fact walk the earth and then willingly laid down his life to atone for our sins, there is no room for discussion or alternate versions of reality. We must each receive that witness.

For me, I have no doubt that Jesus is the Christ. I have no doubt he was born into mortality, walked the earth, and then took upon him the sins of the world as he suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane. How he did that, I don’t understand, but I have faith that he did. I’ve had my own witness.

It is his birth that we celebrate. May we all remember the reason for the season, proclaim our belief in the Savior, and enjoy a very merry and blessed Christmas.

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Thursday, December 11, 2008

Christmas Joy: Being Smarter than My Kids

Yesterday I spent the entire day wrapping Christmas presents. My fingers were numb and my eyes were bulging out of my head. My kids had informed me that it wasn't at all like Christmas because there weren't any gifts under the tree. They wanted me to wrap the presents and put them all under the tree so they could . . . squeeze them, shake them, count them, and otherwise snoop.

Usually I spend all this time trying to be sneaky buying the gifts and then spend even more time wrapping them and placing them nicely under the tree. And, day after day, the gifts are all rearranged. I can always tell which kid was the last to snoop by where the presents are placed. Year after year, I ask them to please leave the presents alone so nothing gets broken or accidentally unwrapped. And, year after year, they ignore my request.

So this year . . . I outsmarted them. Instead of putting their names on the presents, I put numbers on them. Yep, I actually wrote a number on each gift and then put them under the tree. The kids' reactions were priceless. "Are you serious?", "No, way, numbers?", "Mom, you're killing us here." "I can't believe you put numbers on the presents." "I bet I can crack her code." "Let's just open all the presents and figure out whose is whose."

And, while they were all lamenting the numbers thing, I had a stroke of genius. Since my husband and I are completely worn out by Christmas and we're the ones (the kids are far too busy resting and/or playing with their Christmas gifts) that have to do all the cooking and preparing for the big family meal with my sister and her family, we have this ongoing argument with the kids about what time to get up on Christmas morning. The kids want to be up at 4:00--the only day in the entire year that they get up early voluntarily. We want 7:00 so we can get a few hours of sleep before the big festivities begin. So, I said, "And I won't give you the code for the numbers until after 7:00 am on Christmas Day."

Well, I might as well have said we weren't going to have Christmas at all by their reactions. The oldest kids were the worst. They all fell on the floor and whined and complained. Me? I just enjoyed every second of it because this is the first year in too many to count that I might be able to actually keep the gifts a secret until Christmas.

Besides, I haven't had this much fun in a long time! Christmas cheer is in full force at my house--at least for me :).

Monday, December 8, 2008

Talents

Two of my daughters and I participated in a craft fair on Saturday. Prior to the fair, my daughters made earrings, t-shirts, and Christmas ornaments. I was impressed with the beauty and uniqueness of each pair of earrings, t-shirt, and candy cane ornaments they made. I tried my hand at a few pair of earrings, but decided my talent must be elsewhere so I offered my books for sale.

Unfortunately, we didn’t attract a large crowd for the fair and of those that attended, few were interested in what we offered. I did sell my books and we sold a few pairs of earrings and some ornaments. Sales weren’t what my daughters had hoped for, but it was still a good experience because they discovered new talents.

In Matthew 25:15-30 we learn about the parable of the talents. The first two servants increased their talents while the third buried his. When the master came to collect the talents, he was pleased with his first two servants who had doubled their talents. Said he to the servants, “ . . . Well done good and faithful servant, thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord” (Matthew 25:23).

When he asked the third servant about the talent he’d been given, the servant replied, “ And I was afraid, and went and hid thy talent in the earth; lo, there thou hast that is thine” (Matthew 15:25). The master was displeased that his servant had not increased the talent he’d been given. The master took the talent from the unprofitable servant and gave it to the first servant.

“For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath” (Matthew 25:29). In other words, if we do not increase our talent we will lose even that talent which we possess.

Heavenly Father has blessed each one of us with talents. It’s up to us individually to do something with that talent.

Sometimes, it’s difficult to know what talent we’ve been blessed with. In the past, when I’ve attended Relief Society talent nights, I’ve felt self-conscious because I don’t sing, dance, or play an instrument. I don’t sew, can, or knit (actually, I really like to knit and crochet, but I’m not very good at it). I love to write, but still don’t know if it’s actually a talent or I’m just too stubborn to give it up.

Talents aren’t only what we can see or hear. I have a sister who has a talent for empathy. If she becomes aware of anyone that’s struggling, she’s quick to lend help and support. I have kids whose talents include compassion, faith, obedience, optimism, and kindness. My husband has a talent for gentleness and meekness.

If we hide our talents because we fear what others may say or think, we won’t be able to accomplish that which Heavenly Father wants us to accomplish. We each have specific talents for a reason. We need to do our best to develop our talents and use them to bless the lives of others.

Return to the neighborhood.

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Friday, December 5, 2008

Finding Joy in the Journey

I was honored to speak at a Young Women in Excellence program in my stake a few nights ago. The YW leaders and their genuine enthusiasm and love for the girls impressed me. What a fun bunch of ladies.

My subject was, “Finding Joy in the Journey.” A perfect subject for me because, I admit, I don’t find particular joy in changing poopy diapers or cleaning boogers off the wall. Preparing for this talk allowed me to assess my own life’s circumstances and evaluate my attitude.

If you’ve read previous posts, including Future Baker, you are aware of my two-year-old’s penchant for mischief. On any given day, he’ll pull all of the pots and pans out of the cupboard, grab books from our library and either rip them or draw on them, or tip over the trashcans. He also loves to fling CDs or DVDs across the room, pound on the piano, or turn off, restart, or even crash the computers. He thinks the toilet is his own personal mixing bowl and he throws objects into it and then uses his hand to mix it around. He rarely leaves the dishes alone and has recently broken one of my bowls. A few days ago, while my back was turned for a few minutes, he emptied the flour bag onto the floor and then spread it across the room. When I discovered the flour mess, I had to laugh and then take the photo I posted a few days ago.

Our time in mortality is relatively short compared to eternity. We’ve been told in 2 Nephi 2:25, “ . . . men are, that they night have joy.” Heavenly Father wants us to enjoy our time in mortality. After all, the journey is just as important as the destination.

The following ways can help us find joy as we journey through life:

Praying—we’re all faced with trials at one time or another. If we ask Heavenly Father to help us endure the hard times and find joy even in the most difficult circumstances, he will. We can always turn to him for comfort and guidance.

Writing it Down—we’ve been asked to keep a journal. Writing down our experiences can help us see the hand of the Lord in our lives. We can also learn from our experiences. Sometimes, we might even see the humor in a situation.

Having Gratitude—no matter what we’re facing in life, we still have so many blessings. Having the restored gospel is an incredible blessing that can provide us with peace during turbulent times. We should always count our blessings and recognize the Lord’s hand.

Taking Time—we should try to take the time to enjoy even the little things like animals romping in the field, a beautiful flower, or a chubby hand covered in peanut butter.

Looking for Opportunities—we need to make time to find joy. Our lives can become so hectic that we miss opportunities to sit back and enjoy it. Scheduling a family game night, a date with a spouse, or time to visit an elderly relative can provide opportunities to feel joy.

Keeping the Commandments—when we are shackled with the guilt of breaking the commandments it’s much harder to find the joy in life. Keeping the commandments allows us to enjoy our life to the fullest without Satan exerting control over us.

Laughing—it’s been said that laughter is the best medicine and it’s true. There are days when I just have to laugh because the day has been so ridiculous. When we laugh, we can release tensions and see the humorous side of things.

Yesterday is over and tomorrow isn’t here yet. We only have today and the Lord wants us to find joy in all of our todays.

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Thursday, December 4, 2008

How to Promote Your Home Business by John McLain

The ecomony is crazy right now. People are losing their jobs and their homes. Businesses are going belly up. Consumer spending is down because people are afraid of what the future may bring. The cost of living has skyrocketed and our country seems to be in turmoil.

It makes sense, then, that many people are turning to home-based businesses to either supplement current income or create a new financial path. I have thought about opening a home business myself, but haven't quite figured out what kind of business. I'm not really an expert in anything. If only I could come up with a business that had to do with dirty diapers and runny noses. Guess I'll keep thinking on that one.

For those who have started, or intend to start, a home-based business, How to Promote Your Home Business by John McLain is a great resource to help grow that business.

John has been in the promotion business for the past 12 years. He's run two successful businesses from home: one a national media consulting firm, the other a web-writing and design business. He's published books, including How to Promote Your Home Business, a novel and completed a screenplay. The first 10 years of his career he was a newspaper reporter and editor, then a magazine editor in San Francisco, an ad copywriter, a news director for two universities, and a specialist in national media placements for colleges and universities. Today he continues to write books and do some publicity consulting for companies.

John McLain is an expert on how to promote and he writes an outstanding blog filled with helpful advice. If you've been thinking about opening a home business or have one already, check out his book. It's a great resource.

Here's a review that offers a free copy of his book to a randomly selected blog commenter: Great New Books

You can purchase his book at Amazon.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Future Baker



Any guesses what my sweet, adorable, curious, and ever-so-innocent son did while my back was turned?

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Buy Books

Looking for a perfect Christmas gift for someone?

May I suggest buying a book?

Of course, I'd love it if you bought my book, but if my book doesn't appeal to you, buy another book. Reading seems to be a lost art. Kids are addicted to computer games and too many of them haven't fallen in love with books.

When I was in Denver last year, I found this amazing bookstore, The Tattered Cover. It's three stories high. I was paralyzed with excitement as I browsed all the sections.

Don't you just love the smell of books? Or how they feel in your hands when they're brand new? Or how the pages feel between your fingers? Isn't it great when you've read that last page and close the book? Don't you love finding a character you care about or a story that lingers with you long past the last page?

Books. Books. Books. Buy a book for someone you love.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Traditions Anchored in Service

I wanted to share some more family traditions. Years ago, my sister made a 24 Days of Christmas book for our family. It contains a scripture, a song, and a story for each of the twenty-four days before Christmas. As a family, we use this book every year to prepare us for Christmas. I love the story, Gift of the Magi by O. Henry. It illustrates such unselfish love. Both the husband and the wife give of themselves for the other one. We also read about an unselfish girl who finds a treasure in a loaf of bread, a small tree that gives its last leaf to keep a bird warm, and a young Thomas S. Monson who learns the true meaning of Christmas.

I think my favorite story, though, is The Other Wiseman. It always brings tears to my eyes when I think about how this man so desperately wanted to see the Savior. He gave everything he had and lived his life with the single purpose of meeting the Redeemer of the world, but unfortunately, barely missed him before he was crucified. As the man is dying, he’s distraught that he never got to see Christ, but the Savior appears to him and tells him that because of his selfless service to those around him, he has served God. This story reminds me that when I serve others, including my own children, I am serving God.

Another tradition we have is choosing a family in our community that we can “Secret Santa.” We encourage our children to participate as much as possible while keeping the family’s identity a secret. We choose a different family each year. Over the years, we’ve included food, homemade items, toys, clothes, and toiletries. It’s always fun to find a sneaky way to leave a box filled with gifts and it helps our kids to see beyond themselves and realize that others are in need of a little extra Christmas cheer.

As a youth, I remember going to a widow’s house and delivering a tree. We decorated it and spent time with her. I also remember taking food to a lonely neighbor and visiting with her. My grandmother was so selfless when it came to serving others. One year, we even learned a song in our neighbor’s native language and sang it to her on Christmas Eve. Now, with my family, we try to remember our neighbors by delivering goodies and caroling to them each year. No one will mistake us for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir because our songs are delivered with more love than melody. :)

Traditions anchored in service, especially during a time of year that’s become so commercialized and filled with selfish desires, will help unite and strengthen a family. Children that participate in service-oriented activities during Christmas learn valuable lessons about what’s really important and that Christmas is about far more than toys and trinkets.

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Friday, November 28, 2008

Family Traditions

Every year, on the day after Thanksgiving, we pull out all of our Christmas decorations, put on the Christmas tunes, and decorate our house for Christmas.

We used to trudge through the forest searching for that one, perfect tree—you know, with the light shining down from heaven and a chorus of angels singing. On two different occasions, I had newborns that I carried in a front pack as we hiked through the trees seeking the one that would have the honor of adorning our living room for the season. Year after year, we cut down our own tree despite the snow, rain, or complaints from small children that their legs were going to fall off.

Searching for the tree was usually so exhausting and took so long that some years we had to postpone the decorating until the next day. And, too many times to count, we reminded ourselves during the drive home that we had a tree on top of the vehicle and we should not drive into the garage. Yet, time after time, we’d forget and drive into the garage, wedging the tree between the top of the vehicle and the garage door. That became one of our traditions.

Unfortunately, a beetle infestation combined with several years of drought killed the majority of pinion trees in our area. We then decided we’d—gasp—buy an artificial tree in an effort to leave the live trees intact and allow for new tree growth. We may go back to cutting down our own tree when the forest has had a chance to regenerate itself, but by then it may be too difficult to maneuver our wheelchairs and canes through the forest.

Our family tradition of decorating for Christmas the day after Thanksgiving has become an important part of our family’s memories and the kids look forward to it each year. My son, who recently returned home from his mission, has nicknamed the day, “The Talley Family Christmas Halapalooza.” He’s said many times how much he missed this tradition while he was away in Italy.

Traditions are an important part of our families. Kids look forward to traditions and see them as a constant in their ever-changing lives. No matter what, my kids know that instead of shopping on Black Friday, we’ll be putting up the Christmas tree, sipping hot chocolate, and watching, “Christmas Vacation.”

Of course, other traditions are even more important. Family scripture study, family home evening, and family prayer are all traditions that will not only strengthen our family here and now, they will bind us together for eternity.

When we were first married, we instituted a tradition of reading our scriptures together, reciting an Article of Faith, singing a hymn (usually a Primary song), and then saying our family prayer. It’s become such an integral part of our family that our kids won’t allow us to skip any part of it, even if it means we’re doing it at midnight.

Traditions that are grounded in the gospel will unite our families and draw us closer together. It’s never too late to start a family tradition.

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Monday, November 24, 2008

Change is Constant

Nothing is as constant as change.

Throughout our lives, we encounter change. It’s a natural part of mortality. Some of these changes we embrace and others we’d prefer to avoid. Sometimes, we can choose the changes and other times we cannot. But, we can always choose how we will react to the changes in our lives.

Some people felt sorry for me after I gave birth to my son with Down syndrome because they thought his birth would change my life in negative ways. More than likely, they thought that if they were in my situation, they’d feel that his birth and subsequent life would have a negative impact on their own lives. One comment I received was that the idea of life-long care for a child would be too much. That’s never bothered me. Honestly, when my son was born I was so thankful he was alive and didn’t have any health problems that nothing else mattered. Perhaps, he will need to live with me for the duration of his time in mortality. If that’s the case, I’m fine with that. Perhaps, he will be able to live on his own but with close supervision. That’s okay, too. As he matures, we may need to move to another area that will offer him more opportunities. Again, I can deal with that. I am confident that Heavenly Father will provide a way for my son to thrive in mortality as long as I’m willing to accept those changes that may be required in my own life. I can’t change the fact that my son has an extra chromosome, but I can absolutely choose how I will react to it. In truth, my son is such a wonderful part of my family, it isn’t really a trial or challenge to have him.

When my sister-in-law was diagnosed with lung cancer, I was amazed at how she chose to react to the life-altering news. She had such faith and trust in Heavenly Father. She was never bitter and never asked why she’d been given that trial. She accepted it and lived the rest of her life with grace and faith. After her death, her husband came to visit our family. He told us that he missed her, but he wasn’t angry. He wished she was still with him, but he didn’t feel bad that she died because he knew, and still knows, he’ll be with her again someday. Her long illness and death certainly brought a drastic change to her family, but her husband and children all turned to God and put their faith in His plan.

I was so excited to give birth to my first child. I’d anticipated his birth for nine months and I was thrilled to be a mother for the first time. Though I was happy about having this new baby in my life, I did have to adjust to caring for him. Since
I was nursing him, I had to feed him every few hours around the clock, something I’d never done before. Suddenly, I had a child that depended on me for his very existence. My husband helped a great deal, but try as he might, he couldn’t lactate. Only I could provide sustenance for my new baby and some nights, it was hard to be so exhausted and still feed him.

Though some of the changes in our lives such as marriage, birth of a child, going off to college, or serving a mission may be positive, they can still require an adjustment period. Whenever things change, even if they’re for the good, it can be hard to adjust to those changes. Staying close to Heavenly Father through prayer, and putting our faith and trust in Him, will help us accept and adjust to changes more easily. As we seek to have His peace in our lives, we will be able to deal with the constant changes.

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Friday, November 21, 2008

Gratitude for All Things

“And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things, and obey not his commandments” (Doctrine and Covenants 59:21). Clearly, the Lord expects us to be grateful and to recognize that everything comes from him.

“And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more” (Doctrine and Covenants 78:19). If we recognize the Lord’s hand and receive all things, whether blessings or trials, with a thankful heart, we will be made glorious, perhaps even exalted.

My sister-in-law is a great example to me of someone who is grateful. She sends out thank you cards for everything. Each year after we’ve presented the Primary Program, she writes a note to all of the Primary kids expressing her gratitude for their presentation. She even writes thank you notes for birthday cards she receives and for thank you notes she receives. She is so thoughtful and always expressing her gratitude. She amazes me.

What one person may see as a blessing another may see as a trial. Being the mother of a large family has blessed my life immensely. I’ve always wanted to be a mother and to have a house full of kids. However, I have met many who think having so many kids would be a trial. I’ve been told that I’m crazy, that I’m selfish, and that I’ve contributed to the overpopulation of the world (that’s one of my favorites because I live in such a rural area that we can literally drive in some areas for several hours before we see evidence of people). Most people shake their heads and tell me they’re happy they don’t have to care for so many children. To them having a small family is a blessing. For me, a small family would’ve felt like a trial.

Every day I am thankful, and honored, that Heavenly Father chose me to be the mother of my youngest son who has Down syndrome. He is a miracle to me and I can’t imagine my life without him. I knew many years ago that he’d come to my family and have no doubt he’s part of my eternal family and has as much purpose in this life as anyone else. I have never been angry or upset that he has Down syndrome. I have always just been grateful to have him in my life, as I am to have all of my children. Yet, there are those who’ve told me they would never want a child like my son. People feel like having a son with DS would be too great of a trial for them. So while I am so thankful and happy to have him in my family, others would not be grateful at all.
Since I lost my mother more than 35 years ago, I have always been so thankful for the opportunity to be a mother and to have time with my children. I’ve outlived my mother by more than 15 years and each day of each of those years, I’ve been so grateful to have that time with my family and be able to give my children what I never experienced.

I know there are things that I would see as a trial rather than a blessing. I see people who deal with things I couldn’t handle, and they do it with thankful hearts. While gratitude may be in the eye of the beholder, perhaps, one of life’s greatest lessons is to learn to be grateful for everything, including our trials. A loving Heavenly Father sees and understands far more than we do. We simply need to acknowledge his hand in all things and be thankful for all he’s given us.

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Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Dancing with the Scantily Clad Stars

Yesterday my kids ran me ragged. My two year old is extremely active and into everything. He's now decided that he won't take naps. Yipee!

So last night I was frazzled and needed just a little down time. I never watch TV on Mondays and have no idea what's on. I surfed some channels and settled on Dancing with the Stars. I used to dance and love to watch people share their talents (I'm a certified American Idol junkie). I originally thought DWTS was about finding the best dancers and watching their moves. After last night, I'm convinced the show is more about who can wear the skimpiest costume and twist and turn without a Janet Jackson-esque wardrobe malfunction. I was especially worried about Kym, I think was her name. She is Warren's partner.

I actually only recognized one of the "stars." A kid that used to sing in one of those girly boy bands back in the 90s. I can't tell you which band, but I think he was in one of them.

Maybe I'm a prude, but I was so distracted by the women's costumes, or lack thereof, I didn't even watch the footwork or the dance moves. I kept worrying that something would fall out and I was embarrassed by their immodest costumes. I'm not sure why women think it's attractive to prance around TV in their underwear (one of the costumes looked like it covered less than underwear). Though they have beautiful bodies (I'm sure they haven't birthed 10 kids), I don't particularly want to see so much of them. I can see why this show is popular with men.

So I think the show should be named Dancing with the Scantily Clad Stars because that would be a much more appropriate description. As for me, I don't think I'll watch it again, and certainly not with any of my sons, or husband, around. It's a great idea for a show and could be fun to watch if only the dancing were the centerpiece, not the the scantily clad women.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Righteous Judgment

The greatest gift, next to that of life itself, is the ability to choose what to do with that life. The war in heaven was all about allowing us to come to mortality to make our own choices, rather than being compelled to make certain choices. We are all endowed with the ability to choose for ourselves.

Sometimes, our choices are good ones and other times they aren’t. As we go through our lives making choices, we determine whether we will follow God’s plan of happiness or venture down another path.

It’s important to remember that despite our choices, we are all Heavenly Father’s children and He desires that each of us return to live with Him. He has given us the road map that we need to follow throughout our life’s journey if our intended destination is with Him. We can either choose to follow His guidelines, or commandments, or not. It’s up to each of us to decide if we will follow Him.

Even as members of the Church, we sometimes mistakenly see people as their choices, rather than seeing them separate from their choices. We may be guilty of judging a person instead of that person’s choice.

Only the Lord can judge a person. However, we are required to judge behaviors and actions and to judge between choices. This kind of judgment is righteous and we not only have the right to exercise righteous judgment, we are responsible to do so. We are constantly faced with choices and we have to decide which choices will bring us closer to God and which will lead us away from Him.

“For I the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance” (D&C 1:31) 1Nephi 15:34 teaches us that no unclean thing can enter into the kingdom of God. Some choices are not acceptable to God and are sins. While we are not to judge the person who commits the sin, we are to judge whether or not a specific choice will be considered a sin by God. If we want to live with Him again, we must repent of our sins and be cleansed by the power of the atonement.

When the woman was caught in the very act of adultery and brought before the Savior (John 8:3-11), He told her accusers to not cast judgment on her, but he then turned to her and said, “Go and sin no more.” Clearly, the Savior taught that adultery was a sin and was wrong, yet the woman was still a daughter of God.

We are not to decide that because someone does something he or she will be cast out of heaven, but we must decide what choices are acceptable unto God. We are to love the sinner, but abhor the sin. We should take courage in teaching and defending the laws of God. We should never feel bad for standing up for truth and righteousness and should stand as witnesses of God in all things, in all places, and at all times.

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Friday, November 14, 2008

Keeping the Commandments Brings Happiness

When I was a child, I didn’t have the gospel. I found it after my parents both passed away and I went to live with my grandparents. Even then, we didn’t read scriptures, have family home evening, or pray except to bless the food. I did not
have the blessings of the priesthood in my home.

I had a choice to make as I became an adult. I could continue to live as I’d been taught or choose to fully embrace the gospel. I chose the latter. Though my testimony was like the tiniest of mustard seeds, I had to desire to learn more and live better.

As I’ve lived my life, I’ve come to learn the fundamental truth that true happiness comes from keeping the commandments. We’ve all been endowed with the ability to make our own choices, right or wrong. We can choose to follow the Savior or not. We can choose to go to church, read our scriptures, and say our prayers. We can choose if we want to follow the Word of Wisdom or the Law of Chastity. We can decide for ourselves if we want to attend the temple or not. No one compels us to do any of this; it is up to us to each make our own individual choices.

I’ve lived without the gospel and I’ve lived with it. I’ve broken commandments and I’ve kept commandments. I’ve lived without the priesthood and with it. I’ve seen the effects of living without the gospel and the effects of living with it. I choose to live with it because I know it’s what brings peace and joy.

I’ve chosen my life on purpose. I didn’t fall into Mormonism by accident nor do I feel obligated to live its teachings. I, with full knowledge and purpose, choose to live this way. I wish I did it better. I wish I were a better example of a disciple of Christ. I wish I didn’t make mistakes, say the wrong thing, or offend people. I wish I constantly had the Spirit with me 24 hours a day. But, this I know, when I break the commandments, I am unhappy and when I keep them I am happy.

I can’t prove that God exists. I can’t prove that keeping the commandments makes people happy, I can only see the effects of doing so. To me it’s like the principle of gravity. I can’t see gravity or hold it in my hands. I can only see the effects of it on objects. I can clearly see that a car doesn’t float up into the sky because gravity holds it to earth. When I let go of a plate, it doesn’t stay suspended in the air, it drops to the ground. Again, it’s the effect of gravity.

The effect of keeping the commandments, or rather the desire to keep the commandments, is happiness. It is not freedom from trial and tribulation. Commitment to keeping the commandments does not prevent us from experiencing heartache, but even during dark times, we can have the peace and happiness that comes from keeping the commandments. We can still find joy even when we are dealing with tragedy. We can still feel the love and comfort of the Savior as we traverse the tumultuous waves of life and know that as we put our faith and trust in Him and keep His commandments, He will be there to steady us.

I have no doubt that keeping the commandments brings happiness.

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Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Big Announcement

I'm extremely happy to announce . . . (no, I'm not having a baby, though my youngest daughter pointed to my stomach and asked if a baby was in there--time to step up that exercise), that Cedar Fort will be publishing my next novel in August or September 2009. I'm very excited! Woo Hoo!!

It's a light, fun (and hopefully funny) romance about surviving the tumultuous love storms at BYU. It's quite different from my last novel. I'll keep you updated on its progress. For now, I'm busy with revisions.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Whitney Awards Auction


For anyone who's unfamiliar with the Whitney Awards, the awards were instituted last year to recognize excellence in fiction by LDS authors. If you've read a book this year by an LDS author that you think deserves a Whitney Award, you can nominate the book at Whitney Awards. It is limited to fiction, but the book can be for the LDS or national market as long as the author is LDS.

The Whitney Awards Committee is holding a silent auction to raise funds. If you click on the link in my sidebar, it'll take you to the auction and you can see what's available. I've already been outbid on some items. Check it out.

I attended the 2008 Whitney Awards gala and it was a blast. It was so much fun seeing so many authors and then watching those who won accept their awards.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Sharing the Gospel

This last weekend we had our stake conference. It was broadcast on Sunday to stakes in Colorado, Wyoming, and Montana. Saturday night we met with the adults in our own stake.

I was impressed with the woman who spoke first in our Saturday evening session. She said she’d lived in California many years when she and her mother felt prompted to move to a small town, away from the hustle and bustle of a big city. They traveled through Colorado before deciding to settle in a small town in southwestern Colorado.
She and her mother began working for the school district serving lunches. Missionaries happened to stop by and dropped off a Book of Mormon, but neither she nor her mother read it. Through the job with the school district, she met members of the Church. Children invited her to their baptisms and other special events. When she started working for the court system, she worked with members who changed her view of others. She said that those she worked with didn’t see criminals, but rather children of God who made mistakes and needed help.

Her neighbors invited her, and her mother, to church events and befriended them.
Through all of these efforts, she decided to be baptized. The more she studied about her new religion the more she desired to go to the temple. As the year progressed, she started to fear going to the temple because she didn’t know what to expect. She shared how the Relief Society president was persistent, but never pushed her to go to the temple.

After some time passed, she decided to attend the temple. Twenty-two people attended with her. Her neighbors, those she’d worked with, the Relief Society president, and parents of the children who first invited her to go to church. She shared how she felt when she joined these people in the celestial room and the bond that tied them all together.

As I listened to her speak, I couldn’t help but feel the Spirit witness to me the truth of what she was sharing. What a blessing it is to attend the temple. I’ve been privileged to attend with my nephews when they first took out their endowments and when they married in the temple. But, the opportunity I had to attend with my own son before he left for his mission was an experience I won’t soon forget. To stand in the celestial room with him was such an incredibly peaceful and joyous occasion. I was filled with such gratitude for that experience.

Another thing I picked up from this sister’s talk was the involvement of so many people in bringing the gospel to her. Children and adults, not afraid to share the good message of the gospel, opened their mouths and their hearts to serve one of Heavenly Father’s children. Her gratitude to these people for loving her and helping her to find her way back to Heavenly Father was palpable in that room.

We never know what opportunities we may have to share the gospel with our co-workers, neighbors, or even through our internet associations. I’m going to try to be more diligent in sharing the gospel with people in my life in hopes of allowing them to find the same peace and joy I have found through the gospel.

Return to the neighborhood.

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Friday, November 7, 2008

Family Home Evening

At a time when the family unit is under attack, it’s even more important to heed the counsel from our leaders and have regular family home evenings.

In 1915, President Joseph F. Smith and his counselors in the First Presidency instituted family home evening in an effort to encourage parents to teach the gospel to their children, strengthen their families, and build family unity. In 1970, the First Presidency designated Monday night as the night for family home evening.

I grew up in a home that did not hold FHE. I knew what it was, but our family activities usually centered around watching reruns of sitcoms. My husband’s family held regular FHE during his childhood so when we got married my husband and I established consistent family home evenings for our own family.

While my oldest children were young, I wondered if having FHE really mattered. During the lesson, I could usually spot a child under the table, another one upside down on the couch, while another might be chattering in baby talk barely cognizant that I was in the room. Though it was a challenge, we continued to hold FHE each week. I often commented that the scriptures about enduring to the end applied to FHE.

When my son returned home from his mission and reported to the high council, one of the members asked him if he felt prepared to serve his mission. I was surprised when he mentioned how much he appreciated that we always held FHE. At that moment, I realized that he’d listened, or at least recognized the importance of FHE. He’d been the one that was most frequently upside down on the couch, and yet FHE had made a difference to him.

Over the years, I’ve learned that successful family home evenings meet the needs of the family. While Monday night has been designated as FHE, sometimes another night works better. We’ve recently held FHE on Sunday nights to accommodate our older children’s schedules so that everyone can attend and participate.

When the kids were young, my husband and I prepared and presented the lessons, but as they’ve grown, we’ve assigned lessons to them. This works well because the Faith in God and Duty to God programs as well as the Family Life merit badge require that the kids prepare and teach FHE lessons. Not only do the kids learn more about the subject, they also learn to appreciate what it means to teach others. Hopefully, that will help prepare them for missions and their own future families.

We generally open our FHE with a song and a prayer and then turn the time over to whomever is teaching the lesson. Some of our lessons are more in-depth than others, depending on who teaches the lesson. After the conclusion of the lesson, we do family business. During this time, we discuss the week’s schedule so that we’re all aware of what’s going on. After family business, we close with another song, the Article of Faith we’re reciting that month, scripture study, and a prayer.

Family home evening has been divinely instituted to help strengthen our families to combat the ever- increasing evil in the world. FHE may not always run smoothly, but I testify that obedience to this counsel will bring great blessings and will bring families closer together.

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Thursday, November 6, 2008

My Son, My Gift

You may not agree with her politics, but Sarah Palin and her son, Trig, have raised awareness about Down syndrome, the most common chromosomal abnormality named after Dr. John Langdon Down who first recognized common characteristics and termed it as a condition. Did Sarah Palin’s candidacy combat some of the common misconceptions about Down syndrome and help people to better empathize with the 350,000 Americans diagnosed with it, and their families? Time will tell.

Each year about 5000 babies are born with an extra 21st chromosome. Shortly after fertilization, an egg begins to divide and change. Normally, each person has 23 pairs of chromosomes resulting in a total of 46. Individuals receive one chromosome per pair from the father and one from the mother. In the case of Trisomy 21, or Down syndrome, a developing egg may have divided incorrectly or something else caused it to receive extra genetic material on the 21st chromosome. The result is 47 chromosomes instead of the normal 46. This extra genetic material affects individuals in various ways and much is still unknown about which genes are actually replicated. The chance of it happening increases with maternal age. However, most births are to women under age 35.

An article, “Prenatal Test Puts Down Syndrome in Hard Focus,” by Amy Harmon in the New York Times, May 9, 2007, cites research that 90 percent of all women who receive a pre-natal diagnosis of Down syndrome choose to terminate the pregnancy. 90 percent. Why? I believe it’s because there are still so many misconceptions about Down syndrome. After the announcement of Sarah Palin’s candidacy, a commenter on a blog blamed Palin for causing her son’s Down syndrome because she didn’t receive adequate pre-natal care. DS is a genetic condition and has nothing to do with pre-natal care, yet this misconception survives.

People erroneously believe that children with Down syndrome cannot be educated. I personally know a student with DS who was on the honor roll at our middle school.
Another misconception is that people with DS all function similarly and can only do certain things. People like to place them in a “box” and only have certain expectations for them. Again, I know of a woman with DS who works on the Olympic Committee and Chris Burke starred in the television series Life Goes On. People with DS play instruments, act in plays, sing, swim, and have talents like everyone else.

I’m hoping that Palin’s candidacy helped shed light on the truth about Down syndrome and discredited some of the long-held beliefs. I know I was completely ignorant when my son was diagnosed shortly after his birth. I expected him to be a blob. Was I ever wrong. He is most certainly not a blob. He constantly keeps me chasing after him and trying to stay a step ahead of him, though I always seem to be two steps behind him.

He has his own distinct personality and has definite likes and dislikes. Though he’s generally happy, he can throw a tantrum just like any other two year old when he doesn’t get his way. He’s a tease and loves to torture his older sister. He loves to “play” the piano and as soon as he hears the pianist begin at church, he raises his hand to “lead” the music. He performs for anyone who will watch. His favorite song is The Wheels on the Bus and he will do the actions, always making sure he has an audience. More often than not, when we’re in the grocery store he’s pulling faces at people to make them laugh.

Will he have challenges? Honestly, I don’t know. In a sense, don’t we all have challenges? He may have to work harder to learn to read, but I don’t always understand, nor can I recall, what I’ve read in my scriptures and need to constantly reread and supplement my scripture study. He may have challenges expressing his feelings, but after all these years, I express my feelings far too frequently because I still haven’t learned to be patient. He doesn’t say many words, but I sure have to work hard to bridle my tongue especially when I think someone deserves a good tongue-lashing. He might not understand his own needs or the needs of someone else, but I rarely think about others’ feelings because I’m not very compassionate. He may never marry nor have children of his own, but I have yet to become the kind of wife and mother I should be. We all have our struggles, his may just be more apparent; though it’s likely his challenges won’t keep him out of the celestial kingdom while mine will.

I often wonder why Heavenly Father chose me to raise such a son. I feel so unworthy to be his mother. He inspires me to be a better person so that I can spend eternity with him in his immortal and perfected state. I can only hope that when that time comes, I will have been the kind of mother that will deserve to be with him.

It’s like Christmas every day with him; he’s a gift I can enjoy repeatedly. Of course, all children are gifts, but the world seems to shun that gift when it’s wrapped a little differently.

Did Sarah Palin change attitudes? I hope so. The world needs to realize that every life matters, every person deserves a right to live, and every child deserves respect even if he or she has an extra chromosome. After all, under the wrapping, we’re all the same to Heavenly Father.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Weight Loss/Exercise

In my post yesterday, I mentioned something on my wish list: to lose 25 lbs.

After my first baby was born, I was amazed that all the weight I'd gained during pregnancy, and even some extra pounds, just fell off. After subsequent births, I lost all the baby weight and became accustomed to my new, lower weight.

That all changed after baby #9 when I could no longer lose the weight. I lost the weight I'd gained with #10, but still couldn't shake the weight from #9. Maybe it's because I'm old now (at least according to my kids) that it seems much more difficult to lose the weight.

I've always liked to exercise. My favorite exercise DVDs are The Firm, Tae Bo, and Walk off the Pounds. While in Walmart the other day, I saw some new walking DVDs and decided to purchase them in an effort to motivate myself to increase my exercise time. I've decided to commit to using my walking DVD everyday for the next two months and see if it makes a difference. The DVD (with Leslie Sansone) is an hour long and is the equivalent of 4 miles. I'm hoping it'll jump start some weight loss and help me get in better shape (so I can chase my 2 year old around and actually be faster than he is).

I'll keep you posted.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

8 Things About Me

Danyelle tagged me. So here are some absolutely fascinating things about me:

8 things I am looking forward to:
The end of this election--I'm so tired of it
Thanksgiving and Christmas with all 10 of my kids
The LDStorymakers Conference in April 2009
This weekend--a long 4-day weekend
Seeing the musical my girls are performing in for the next two weekends
Getting my basement organized
Playing in the snow with my kids
Something exciting next summer--stay tuned for my announcement

8 things on my wish list:
To be debt-free
To get my basement organized
To put in another bathroom
To get all of my food storage organized
To finiah the Old Testament
To lose 25 lbs
To have my whole house clean
To make a difference in the world, or at least in my little corner of the world

8 TV Shows I like to watch:
Supernatural
Smallville
Stargate Atlantis
Stargate SG-1
People's Court
Judge Judy--she rocks!
American Idol

8 Things that happened yesterday:Family Home Evening
Cooked Meals
Laundry
Worked on my novel
Wrote my blog
Cleaned
Diaper exploded in the crib--yummy!
Exercised

If you'd like to participate, consider yourself tagged.

PS--Don't forget to vote!

Monday, November 3, 2008

Word of Wisdom Blessings

The Word of Wisdom, contained in Doctrine and Covenants 89, not only lists those things we should avoid consuming, it also lists that which we should consume, including fruits, vegetables, grains, and meat.

Following the Word of Wisdom will allow us to avoid some health problems, but it does not guarantee we will not suffer illnesses and disease. My sister-in-law always followed the Word of Wisdom. She grew up in a home that adhered to the Word of Wisdom and established her own home wherein they adhered to the principles taught in the Word of Wisdom. Though she never smoked, she developed lung cancer and eventually succumbed to it last year. Some may argue that the Word of Wisdom did her no good because she died of cancer. Though it’s true that she passed away from a disease for which she did not have a high risk, she was a shining example of faith in the Lord and in His plan. She was obedient to the commandments, including the Word of Wisdom, and she received countless blessings because of her obedience.

The Word of Wisdom isn’t only about what food or substances we should avoid or consume, it’s also about obedience. We know that , “There is a law irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated—And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated” (D&C 130:20-21). Doctrine and Covenants 89 promises specific blessings for obeying the Word of Wisdom, including health in our navel and marrow to our bones. Of course, this doesn’t mean we won’t ever die, that would frustrate the plan of happiness, but it does mean we can enjoy good health that we might not otherwise enjoy if we disobeyed the Word of Wisdom.

“And shall run and not be weary, and shall walk and not faint” (D&C 89:20). Adhering to the Word of Wisdom will allow us to have more strength and energy than if we disobey it and, specifically when it comes to sharing the gospel, we will have greater strength of mind.

While good health is important and desirable, perhaps the greatest blessings are in verses 19 and 21. In D&C 89:19 we’re told that we, “ . . . shall find wisdom and great treasures of knowledge, even hidden treasures.” As we obey the Word of Wisdom and keep our bodies and minds healthy, we will find wisdom. As a mother of 10 children, I clearly need more wisdom than what I can obtain on my own. I need the Lord to impart of His great wisdom as I seek to raise these children unto Him. I cannot do it on my own. If I put my trust in Him by obeying his commandments, especially the Word of Wisdom, He will bless me to learn more than I could possibly learn without His help. He will teach me how to raise my children. He will also teach me how to be wise in my use of time, talents, and abilities to further the work of His kingdom.

Verse 21 promises us that the destroying angel will pass by us, just as it did for the children of Israel. We will not be destroyed. There is an eternal difference between dying and being destroyed. We can enjoy blessings in mortality from adhering to the Word of Wisdom, but we can also enjoy blessings in eternity for obeying it.

The Word of Wisdom is a temporal and spiritual commandment and when we obey, we will reap eternal rewards.

Return to the neighborhood.

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Saturday, November 1, 2008

Halloween Pics

One of the Three Little Pigs holding Yoda



Winifred Sanderson



The Big, Bad Werewolf



Spiderman



Mullet Man (a new kind of Superhero)



Island Princess



Han Solo and Princess Leia

Friday, October 31, 2008

Healthy Eating: The Word of Wisdom

Several years ago, I brought one of my children into the doctor for a check-up. The doctor remarked that compared to the weight chart, she was thin. He then asked me what we ate regularly. I responded that we ate fruits, vegetables, grains, pasta, dairy, and some meat. He asked me how often we ate fast food. I told him we didn’t ever go to McDonald’s and very rarely ate in restaurants. I also told him we didn’t eat many fried foods, but preferred to bake or broil our meats. He stared at me and asked, “Are you serious? That’s really how you eat?” He just shook his head, looking amazed. I did take the opportunity to give him a quick explanation of the Word of Wisdom.

Sometimes we’re so focused on what the Word of Wisdom prohibits, we forget what it promotes. Good health isn’t only obtained by avoiding alcohol, tobacco, drugs, and caffeine, it comes from feeding our bodies healthy food.

“And again, verily I say unto you, all wholesome herbs God has ordained for the constitution, nature, and use of man—Every herb in the season thereof, and every fruit in the season thereof; all these to be used with prudence and thanksgiving” (D&C 89:10-11).

We are also taught that the “flesh also of beasts and of the fowls of the air, I, the Lord, have ordained for the use of man with thanksgiving; nevertheless they are to be used sparingly. And it is pleasing unto me that they should not be used, only in times of winter, or of cold, or famine” (D&C 89:12-13). I have heard some people teach in the Church that we should be vegetarians. While everyone has the right to choose what he or she will eat, the Word of Wisdom does not prohibit meat and as long as we eat it sparingly, it is acceptable.

What does it mean to eat meat sparingly? Back in the early days of the Church, the Saints consumed quite a bit of meat, so sparingly may have had a different meaning. Today, if we will pray to understand the Word of Wisdom as well as how to use meat sparingly, the Spirit will guide us to consume that which is good for us.

“All grain is good for the food of man; as also the fruit of the vine; that which yieldeth fruit, whether in the ground or above the ground” (D&C 89:16). We should be partaking of grains, especially wheat, and fruits and vegetables. Since I grew up in California, fruits and vegetables were plentiful year round. I can remember avocados the size of grapefruits, kumquats, and citrus fruits that grew in our backyard. My grandfather grew tomatoes in a small planter behind the garage and whenever we needed a tomato, we picked one. We also had a mandarin orange tree that bore fruit in December. After I got married, my family would visit my grandparents for Christmas and one of the highlights was eating as many mandarin oranges as we could.

To realize good health, we need to not only avoid substances that are harmful, we need to partake of that which will strengthen and nourish our bodies. The more we adhere to the Word of Wisdom, the healthier our bodies can be. It is certainly not a guarantee that we will never experience health problems, but we can avoid unnecessary health concerns if we keep the Word of Wisdom.

Next, I’ll discuss the promises contained in the Word of Wisdom. Stay tuned . . .

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