No Murmuring

Nephi was commanded by the Lord to build a ship. Though he didn’t know how, he willingly worked to build the boat. After Nephi constructed the ship, amid his brothers’ mocking and ridicule, the family boarded it to make their journey across the ocean. While at sea, some of the family members made “merry, insomuch that they began to dance, and to sing, and to speak with much rudeness, yea even that they did forget by what power they had been brought thither; yea, they were lifted up unto exceeding rudeness” (1 Nephi 18:9).

When Nephi attempted to speak to his family in soberness they became angry with him. So angry that Laman and Lemuel took Nephi and bound him with cords. They bound him so tightly it caused his wrists and ankles to swell. Once Nephi was bound, the liahona stopped working and a great storm developed insomuch that it beat back the ship for three days.

Nephi witnessed all of this, but was powerless because he was bound. Yet, he said, “Nevertheless, I did look unto my God, and I did praise him all the day long; and I did not murmur against the Lord because of mine afflictions” (1 Nephi 18:16). This statement illustrates the character of the prophet Nephi.

As I read this account, I realized how applicable that statement is to my own life. How have I reacted to afflictions? Have I kept my faith in God?

When one of my daughters was born, we had to return to the hospital the day after we brought her home because she had a fever. While we drove to the ER I desperately prayed that she’d be okay and we’d be able to go right back home. As soon as the ER doctors heard she had a fever we were rushed back to a room and she was immediately hooked up to an IV. An ER doctor asked permission to give her a spinal tap because he believed she had meningitis. During the procedure, I prayed the doctor would be able to find what he needed. He didn’t. He couldn’t extract any fluid.

I prayed she wouldn’t have to stay in the hospital. She did.

I prayed the doctors would know what was wrong. They didn’t.

I prayed she wouldn’t need any more antibiotics. She did.

I prayed the nurses could find a vein for her IV so she wouldn’t need a pick line in her neck. They couldn’t.

When the doctor came to tell us she’d have to be life-flighted to another hospital, I felt broken. I was afraid to pray because up to that point, the opposite of what I prayed for seemed to be what happened. I didn’t know what to do. I felt like I had a broken heart and a contrite spirit.

The pediatrician who had unsuccessfully tried to do a second spinal tap on her asked for permission to try a third time. He told us that if we could extract enough spinal fluid and it was clear we could rule out meningitis and we wouldn’t have to fly her to the other hospital. I was at a crossroads. I knew, deep down, that Heavenly Father answered prayers and couldn’t understand why he didn’t seem to hear mine. I had to decide if I was going to murmur because of my afflictions or put my faith in prayer.

I decided to pray. Moments after we finished kneeling on the hospital room floor, the doctor entered with a big smile. He’d extracted three vials worth of fluid and it was clear. She did not have to be air-lifted and the next day we discovered she had a urinary tract infection and could be treated with a simple antibiotic by mouth.

Unfortunately, I have murmured at other times. I’ve complained, usually about insignificant things, about things that don’t matter. I need to be like Nephi. I want to be like Nephi. I want to have that complete faith that when afflictions arise, and they most certainly will, I will, “ . . . look unto my God, and . . . praise him all the day long; and . . . not murmur against the Lord because of mine afflictions” (1 Nephi 18:16).

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Housekeeping and Homemaking

There is a difference between housekeeping and homemaking.

Housekeeping

This includes cleaning and caring for the house. Keeping an orderly house is important for the Spirit to be able to dwell there. “Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God” (Doctrine and Covenants 88:119). The Lord wants us to be organized and to keep our houses orderly because his Spirit cannot dwell in chaos.

I know that when my house is messy I feel stressed. I don’t feel like I can concentrate on anything except trying to get the house clean. With such a large family, it’s quite a challenge to keep the house tidy (especially with two young children I affectionately refer to as Tornado #1 and Tornado #2). I do assign each child chores that need to be accomplished every day because it takes everyone’s cooperation to keep the house clean. I simply don’t have enough time in the day to clean up after so many children and also do laundry, cook, pay the bills, and the other things I need to do to keep the house running smoothly. Besides, it’s important to teach children to work and to contribute to the family by helping with the housework.

When the house is clean, I feel so much better. I love to see an empty kitchen sink, vacuumed carpet, and sparkling bathrooms. It’s brought me to tears when I’ve come downstairs to find that my kids have washed dishes and cleaned the kitchen, especially if I haven’t had to beg them to do it.

Housecleaning is really no fun. Who wants to swish a dirty toilet or scrub boogers off the wall? But, it’s essential to keep the house orderly to have a house of God.

Homemaking

Homemaking is taking care of the spiritual, emotional, and temporal needs of each member of the family. It includes teaching, leading, loving, and serving members of the family. If homemaking were a career, it would include: nursing, psychology, linguistics, mathematical expertise, taxi-driving skills, juggling, reading specialist, humorist, writer, scriptorian, organizer, fundraiser, mind-reader, encourager, and comforter. Of course, those who study homemaking are usually expert diaper-changers, nose-wipers, and baby-talkers.

Homemaking encompasses the divine role of being a mother. The world seems to mock those who take their role of mother seriously. There are no worldly awards or recognition for those who spend their lives devoted to guiding and rearing righteous children. In fact, many look down on women who choose to stay home rather than pursue a career.

David O. McKay once said, “No other success can compensate for failure in the home.” At the end of our lives we will not be asked how much money we made, what kind of house we lived in, or what career we had. We will be asked if we raised our children in the gospel, if we had family prayer and scripture study, if we kept our covenants, and if we, by example, taught our children to be like the Savior. We will never do anything more important than what we do within the confines of our own homes. The influence of a righteous mother (and father) can be felt for generations.

Both housekeeping and homemaking have a place in our lives and both are intertwined. As we strive to do both, Heavenly Father will bless us and magnify us and at the end of our lives he will say, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant . . . enter thou into the joy of thy lord” (Matthew 25:21).

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Tithing: The Windows of Heaven

My son returned home from his mission last summer. Since that time, he’s found that post-mission life can be difficult. With the current economy, finding a job has been hard, if not impossible, for him. He’s been living at home trying to find a job to save some money and move out.

My daughter has been attending college. She took a semester off to work and save money for college. When she returned to college, she found that the tuition costs had increased. She planned to work at the same place she’d worked the year before while attending school. She started working for this same company, but unfortunately it was affected by the economy and one day while she was on her way to work, she received a call telling her not to come in because the company was closed as of that day. To top it off, she was told that her paychecks from the few weeks she worked had been sent to the wrong address and were lost in the mail. My daughter called me in a panic, unsure what to do. She had very little money, no job, and no idea how to pay for food or her tuition. She decided she’d pay her tithing on the small amount she’d earned before the company closed.

My son also decided to pay tithing on a small amount of money he’d earned. The day after he paid his tithing, he received a call for an interview with a company he thought had already hired an employee. Two days later, he received another call for an interview for a different job. He also finally received a refund check he’d been waiting for. A coincidence? I don’t think so.

My daughter call the day after she’d paid her tithing to tell me that the checks that had been lost in the mail suddenly appeared in her account as direct deposits. She also went to her mailbox that day and found a refund check from a past apartment. Now with this money and a small loan, she can make it to the end of the semester. A coincidence? Again, I don’t think so. She told me, “Mom, I will never not pay tithing.”

In Malachi 3:8 we read, “Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.” The Lord takes tithing very seriously, we would be wise to do the same. All that we have is his. He only asks that we give 10 percent back. A small amount compared to what he gives us each day.

The Law of Tithing is a law that must be practiced before the blessings come. We must exercise our faith in it before we can receive the blessings from being obedient to it. Think of what would happen if we all obeyed the Law of Tithing. Think of what we could accomplish if everyone in the United States willingly donated 10 percent of their increase and it was administered properly. We could solve so many problems in this country. We could eradicate hunger, strengthen our cities, repair our roads, educate our children properly, take care of our needs, and as has been my experience, enjoy blessings of abundance. If only we were willing to give the Lord his tenth he would, “open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it” (Malachi 3:10).

I have a testimony of the Law of Tithing. I’ve seen it work in my own life and in the lives of my children. He truly does open the windows of heaven.

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Smack that Camel's Nose

In my previous post, I wrote that we usually don’t commit a serious sin without having first invited Satan into our lives one step at a time—just like the camel in the story.

Satan is so subtle and tricky. He knows that if he presents the idea of committing sin all at once we’d see it for what it is and we wouldn’t succumb. He tempts and tantalizes us with seemingly small indiscretions until, sometimes before we even realize it, we are neck deep in transgression.

I know of a primary president and bishop who began sharing rides to leadership meetings. They visited on the way to the meetings and struck up a close friendship. Soon they were confiding in each other and finding reasons to spend time together. Eventually, they both left their families and ran off together. The first step, sharing a ride to leadership meetings seemed innocent enough. After all, they were doing their callings. But, Satan knows how to reach us if we let him. Letting down our guard, even for a moment, can result in disastrous consequences.

How can we smack that camel on the nose and tell him to get the heck out of our tent?

Pray

Prayer is our opportunity to converse with Heavenly Father. We can pour out our hearts, ask for strength to overcome our weaknesses, and listen for his promptings.
We are counseled in the scriptures to always have a prayer in our hearts. If we are consistently praying each day, at least morning and night, we will be sensitive to the Spirit and will be able to hear the still small voice when it warns us of spiritual, or even physical, danger.

Study the Scriptures

We have been blessed with prophets’ words and direct counsel from the Lord in the scriptures. For most of life’s problems, we can find answers in the scriptures. The more we read and study them, the more we’ll rely on them to solve our problems and comfort us through trials. Regular, consistent, daily scripture study will bring us closer to God and strengthen our testimonies.

People who fall away from the gospel usually begin by neglecting their daily prayers and eliminating scripture study. The combination of praying and scripture study will do more to keep us close to the Lord on a daily basis than anything else.

Keep the Commandments

Of course, consistently trying to keep the commandments will keep Satan at bay. It won’t stop his attempts to thwart us on our journey back to Heavenly Father, but it will give us the ability to see his attempts more clearly and the strength to shun his temptations.

Attend the Temple

When we take the time to attend the temple and participate in temple work for the deceased, we are performing a service that is closest to what the Savior has done for us. He took upon him our sins and brought about the atonement because none of us has the power to do that for ourselves. We needed him to be our Savior. It is the same with temple work. Those that have died do not have the ability or power to participate in these saving ordinances, they need someone, a savior, who can do for them what they cannot do for themselves.

The service that we render in the temple combined with the peace that the world cannot duplicate, will give us added strength to turn from Satan and follow the only path that leads to God and eternal happiness.

It may take some strong muscles to smack that camel, but when we’re empowered with prayer, scripture study, keeping the commandments, and temple attendance we’ll flex our spiritual muscles and send that camel flying every time he sticks his nose inside our tent.

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Beware Your Tent

A traveler set up a tent in the wilderness. He snuggled under his covers for his night’s sleep. The night became cold and his camel poked his nose into the tent. The owner asked the camel what he was doing and the camel replied that it was cold outside and if he could only put his nose inside the tent, he would warm up and then spend the rest of the night outside. The owner agreed to allow the camel to place his nose inside the tent because, after all, the camel’s request made sense and it was only his nose inside the tent. There was still plenty of room for the traveler.

Soon the camel asked, “I’m still cold. Could I please place my head inside your tent? I will warm up soon and then spend the rest of the night outside.” The traveler considered the request. He didn’t want his camel to be cold so, once again, he granted the camel’s wish because, after all, it was only his head and there was still room for the traveler inside the tent.

After several minutes, the camel said, “May I please place my front feet inside your tent? They are so cold out here. If only I can warm my feet for a few minutes, then I promise I will spend the rest of the night outside.”

The traveler thought about it. There would be less room in the tent, but it was cold and he believed the camel’s promise to spend the rest of the night outside as long as he could warm his feet. The traveler allowed the camel to place his feet inside the tent.

Not long after, the camel asked, “Can I take just a few steps inside? I’m sure I’ll warm up and then I’ll definitely spend the rest of the night outside.”
By now the traveler was feeling crowded inside the tent, but he consented to the camel’s request.

After 30 minutes, the camel took a few more steps inside the tent. Before the traveler realized it, the camel had entered completely inside the tent and the traveler’s only option was to go outside and leave the camel inside the tent. So the owner spent the night outside in the cold, filled with regret that he had allowed the camel to first place his nose inside the tent.

And so it is with Satan. He doesn’t jump into our lives, we allow him in step-by-step, bit-by-bit. No one wakes up and decides to commit adultery that very day. It starts with impure thoughts. If we fan those thoughts by accessing pornography or frequenting online chat rooms, more likely than not, we’ll next begin an improper relationship, until we finally commit adultery. If we have an impure thought and immediately thrust it from our mind, we’ll probably not follow the path that leads to infidelity.

Satan isn’t satisfied with just a few followers. He’s greedy, he wants all of us.
And, he’s been practicing his game for so long he’s extremely good at it. He can deceive us into thinking that good is evil and evil is good. He can trick us into justifying our behavior. He can, and will, lead us carefully down to hell before he abandons us to live with the consequences of our actions. It only starts with a nose inside the tent .

In my next post, I’ll discuss ways to smack that nose and get it out of our tents. Stay tuned . . . .

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Following Christ

The world sends confusing and conflicting messages. It may be hard to navigate the waters of morality when it seems to be so relative these days. What is right? What is wrong? Is there a way to know which path to follow to have joy and peace in an ever-increasingly turbulent world?

The answer is yes. We can find peace and joy. We can know what’s right and what’s wrong. We have a light to guide us in the darkness. It is in following the example of Jesus Christ, in becoming like him, that we can overcome the mixed messages of the world as well as our own weaknesses and find our way back to our Heavenly Father.

As we read and study the scriptures, we can emulate The Savior’s qualities and characteristics. We know that he was meek. Does that mean he was weak? Absolutely not. He was willing to submit his will to the Father’s, but he was never weak. He was humble and lowly of heart, which means he did not think he knew more than Heavenly Father. Yes, he had the power to forgo the agony of the atonement, but he was willing to do his father’s will no matter how painful. He came to glorify the Father not himself.

He was full of love and compassion. His love was unconditional. Sometimes, it’s difficult to understand the concept of loving someone, but not loving his or her choices. We’re told by loved ones or friends that if we don’t accept their lifestyle choices then we don’t love them, They do not understand the concept of unconditional love. The Savior loves us all despite the choices we make and the sins we commit. Does he approve of, or accept, sin? No. He cannot look on sin with the least degree of allowance, yet he still loves us.

Jesus was constantly serving others. He didn’t focus on himself, he lost himself in the service of others. He spent time teaching, healing, and speaking to those that would listen and believe. He spent hours upon hours at a time teaching the gospel without complaint.

He was obedient. He did not argue or complain, he simply followed the commands of Heavenly Father. Through the story of Saul in the Old Testament we learn how important it is to be obedient and Jesus was the ultimate example of obedience.

As we face different decisions in our life, we can follow the pattern he’s set for us and ask ourselves, “What would Jesus do?” Would he yell at the person who cut him off in line, call someone an ugly name, or belittle someone? Would he be impatient, unkind, or cruel? Would he lie, cheat, or steal? Would he gossip, avoid a calling, or skip church to go to the lake? When we ask ourselves what the Savior would do, it makes the decision much clearer than when we depend on our own ability to make decisions.

It is a lifelong pursuit to become like the Savior. It’s not easy to overcome our human tendencies. But, the more that we follow his example, the easier it will be to overcome our weaknesses, make better decisions, and become like him. The Savior said, “Come follow me.” As we do this, we will find the peace that only he can offer us.

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David and Goliath

I remember hearing the story of David and Goliath even when I was a kid attending other churches. It seemed like the ultimate underdog-defeats-giant-and-comes-out-the-victor story that shows even the smallest of us has a chance.

While that’s true, the real lesson is quite different. The Philistines intended to overtake the Israelites. They’d been at war, as has been the cycle for the children of Israel. The Philistines presented a great warrior who was not only large, he was fierce and determined to subject the Israelites to Philistine rule once and for all. Goliath of Gath declared, “ . . . choose you a man for you, and let him come down to me. If he be able to fight with me, and to kill me, then will we be your servants: but if I prevail against him, and kill him, then shall ye be our servants, and serve us. . . . I defy the armies of Israel this day; give me a man that we may fight together” (1 Samuel 17:8-10).

Goliath boasted of his own strength and relied upon himself. He was sure that no man could kill him. When he saw a young David, he was even more sure of himself. What he didn’t realize was that what David lacked in physical strength and stature, he more than made up for in his faith in God. David relied solely upon the Lord to help him defeat Goliath. David said, “ . . . who is this uncircumcised Philistine , that he should defy the armies of the living God?” (1 Samuel 17:26).

Goliath stood ready with his armor, sword, and spear while David had a slingshot and some stones he’d found. David told Goliath, “ . . . I come to thee in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom thou hast defied. This day will the Lord deliver thee into mine hand . . .” (1 Samuel 17:45-46). David had faith in the power of the Lord and with one small stone he killed Goliath.

Was it the force of the stone that killed the giant? I doubt it. I believe it was David’s complete faith and obedience to the Lord that destroyed Goliath. Surely, Goliath’s physical strength would’ve overpowered a young boy such as David, but the Lord chose to allow David to slay Goliath. The Lord rarely strikes people down, but rather allows natural events to fulfill his purposes.

What can we learn from this story? We all have goliaths in our own lives. One person’s “goliath” may not be another person’s, but we all have things that seem insurmountable at the time. When my son was diagnosed with Down syndrome, I felt as if it was a goliath in my life. I wasn’t sure how I could deal with it along with raising all of my other children. But, I learned that with the Lord’s help nothing is impossible. Yes, my son still has Down syndrome, but I have no doubt at all that the Lord will bless me to deal with whatever comes from his diagnosis and to be the best mother I can be to him and that he will bless my son to accomplish whatever mission he has to accomplish here on earth.

No matter what we encounter, if we rely on the Lord, he will steady and strengthen us, even when the odds don’t look like they’re in our favor. When my sister-in-law faced lung cancer, she may have seen it as a goliath in her life. Though she didn’t beat the cancer in this life, cancer didn’t beat her in the next. She never lost her testimony and fully relied on the Lord until the day she passed away.

May we all face our own goliaths with the faith of David and make sure that we slay that which stands in our way or eternal exaltation.

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The Atonement

For Christmas, we received the book, Reflections of Christ, by Mark Mabry. It is a collection of photos representing the life of the Savior. As I thumbed through its pages, I couldn’t help but feel a deep reverence for the Savior and his mission here on earth because this book presents such a powerful representation of the Savior’s birth, baptism, calling to teach, his crucifixion, and finally his triumphant resurrection.

I again looked through this book while listening to Oh Lord, My Redeemer by Jeff Goodrich on his album, I Heard Him Come. I felt an overwhelming sense of the Spirit and, once, again, my testimony of the Savior and his atoning sacrifice grew.

The depth of the atonement is hard to understand. I have no idea how Jesus was able to physically take upon him the sins of the world. I can’t comprehend how that was accomplished, but I know, somehow, it was. I know the pain and sorrow I’ve felt at different times in my life, I can’t fathom what he felt as he knelt in the Garden of Gethsemane as my own pain was multiplied by everyone who ever has, or ever will, live on this earth. No wonder he bled from every pore. He suffered something that none of us can begin to grasp.

I find it difficult to view photos or paintings depicting his crucifixion because I imagine the agony and physical pain he endured for me. It’s hard to think about that. It’s even harder to think about how often I need the atonement and the pain that I’ve personally caused the Savior.

The atonement has loosed the bands of death that came as a result of Adam’s transgression. Every single person that has ever lived on the earth, or will ever live on the earth, will be resurrected and live again. That is a gift to all of humanity. But, the most important part of the atonement is that Jesus paid the price for our sins, and if we are willing the make the atonement effective in our lives, we can once again return to him. He paid the price so we don’t have to. All we have to do is look to him and choose to take advantage of the atonement by repenting of our sins and then following his commandments.

I think it’s important for each of us to think about what the atonement means to us personally. Do we truly have our own testimony that Jesus is the Son of God and his willing sacrifice made it possible to return to Heavenly Father? Do we make the atonement effective in our own individual lives? What do we need to do each day to take advantage of what the atonement offers us?

Though my finite, mortal mind cannot fully comprehend the atonement, I have a testimony that it exists and that Jesus is the Christ. I have a testimony that he is my Savior and my Redeemer and if I can be humble enough to repent of my sins and come unto him, I can someday return to my Heavenly Father and enjoy the blessings of exaltation.

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Learning from Saul

Studying the Old Testament had been quite interesting. The choices of the children of Israel continue to fascinate me. It seems like they all have short-term memory loss. The best example of this is when Moses parts the Red Sea, a miracle right before their eyes, and after they cross on dry ground, they choose to fashion an idol out of gold. It’s hard to understand why the majority of those who had witnessed God’s power would fall away so easily.

Later on, during the time of Samuel, again the Israelites made a bad choice when they asked Samuel for a king. Samuel tried to warn them of the dangers of having a king, but they wouldn’t listen and insisted on a monarch. The Lord, in his infinite love and patience with the house of Israel, revealed to Samuel that Saul should serve as king because he was a “choice young man, and a goodly: and there was not among the children of Israel a goodlier person than he . . .” (1 Samuel 9:2). Apparently, the Lord was allowing the Israelites to use their free agency to choose a king and he wanted to give them the best opportunity to succeed.

Saul proved to be a good king for a time until he made the mistake of performing a priesthood ordinance that he was not authorized to perform. He was instructed to wait for Samuel and then Samuel would offer burnt offerings to the Lord, but Saul, after waiting the seven days that Samuel asked him to wait, became worried that his army would be destroyed before Samuel came to offer the sacrifice. Saul apparently understood that he needed the Lord’s help, but instead of waiting for the Lord’s anointed servant, he took it upon himself to offer the sacrifice.

When Samuel found out, he told Saul, “Thou hast done foolishly; thou hast not kept the commandment of the Lord thy God, which he commanded thee: for now would the Lord have established thy kingdom upon Israel forever” (1 Samuel 13:13). The Lord was planning to manifest great power through Saul, but could no longer do so because Saul had not kept the commandment to wait for Samuel and had offered the burnt offering himself.

Saul was then commanded to kill all the Amalekites, but chose to save their wicked king, Agag, and some of their best animals for the purpose of sacrificing the animals to the Lord. Because of this choice, the Lord rejected Saul as king and the spirit of the Lord left him. Samuel taught Saul a very important lesson, “ . . .Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams” (1 Samuel 15:22).

What can we learn from Saul? He was, at one time, a righteous man who wanted to serve the Lord and listen to Samuel, but then made the mistake of relying on himself instead of on the Lord. How many times do we try to make decisions without the Lord? Or, know what the Lord wants us to do, but think we know better than the Lord? Saul could’ve been a great leader and been an important instrument in the hands of God. So it is with us. We can also be great instruments in advancing the kingdom of God, but we must hearken to his counsel and follow his commandments. When we do, the Lord will magnify us in ways we cannot even comprehend.

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Do Not Defile Our Bodies

“Your body is God’s sacred creation. Respect it as a gift from God, and do not defile it in any way. Through your dress and appearance, you can show the Lord that you know how precious your body is. You can show that you are a disciple of Jesus Christ” (For the Strength of Youth, p. 14).

When I was a kid, my next door neighbor pierced my ears. She froze my earlobes and then stuck a needle through them with some attached thread. Unfortunately, the holes were uneven so when I was a little older, I had them pierced a second time hoping to get an even set of holes. Since I then had two holes, I wore a diamond stud that belonged to my mother in one of my ears along with a pair of earrings.

My father had given my mom the almost-invisible-speck-of-a-diamond earrings when they were a young married couple. Even though they couldn’t afford the earrings, my mom treasured them, especially after my father’s death. When my mother passed away, my sister and I inherited those earrings. We split the pair and each took one to wear. I wore that stud for years. It made me think of my parents and somehow helped me feel a little closer to my mother.

When President Hinckley asked us to only wear one pair of earrings, I was distraught. I didn’t want to give up wearing my mom’s earring. It was tiny and hardly noticeable. I reasoned that I wasn’t all pierced up or anything and surely a little earring wouldn’t keep me from my eternal salvation. After I gave it much thought, though, I decided to remove that earring.

“Do not disfigure yourself with tattoos or body piercings” (For the Strength of Youth, p. 16). If our bodies are our temples, then it makes sense that we shouldn’t defile them, either with our dress (or lack of it) or with lots of piercings or tattoos. Personally, I would never be interested in getting a tattoo because I hate needles and it looks far too painful. Besides, I’d be the only one ever to contract AIDS or something from the needle.

As a result from the fallout after voters in California passed Amendment 8, one of our temples in Washington was vandalized. We were all horrified at the thought of someone physically defiling one of our temples. Even when we see graffiti painted on other buildings it seems wrong. How is it any different with our bodies? Heavenly Father has blessed us with incredible physical housings for our spirits. I’m sure he is just as bothered to see some of us “decorate” the outside of our bodies with inappropriate and immodest attire. We should be vigilant in adorning our bodies, or temples, with that which is good in the sight of God.

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Modest is Hottest

Years ago, belly shirts were popular. Honestly, most of the girls who wore the belly shirts shouldn’t have been drawing so much attention to that particular part of their bodies. While I was serving in YW, we had a problem with girls wearing extra short shirts to Mutual. We tried non-offensive tactics to encourage the girls to wear more modest clothing, but nothing seemed to work. Apparently, the YM leaders had also noticed and one evening I saw a YM leader with a roll of duct tape in his hands. The next thing I knew, he was wrapping the duct tape around the middle of one of our young women to cover her stomach. A little radical, but it definitely sent a message.

I remember attending PTA meetings with a mother who always wore micro-mini shorts and revealing shirts. Not only were her clothing choices completely inappropriate for our meetings, she had tons of cellulite and it was so unattractive. I always wonder why older women wear low-cut shirts or short skirts. Do they think it fools the rest of us into thinking they’re still teenagers? Sorry, but sagging and cellulite just aren’t attractive—cover it up.

“Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you? . . . The temple of God is holy, which temple ye are” (1 Corinthians 3:16-17).

“Your body is God’s sacred creation. Respect it as a gift from God, and do not defile it in any way. Through your dress and appearance, you can show the Lord that you know how precious your body is. You can show that you are a disciple of Jesus Christ” (For the Strength of Youth, p. 14).

Dressing modestly shows the Lord that we respect our body and ourselves. While we should not judge people for the way they dress, the way someone dresses is a reflection of who he/she is and how he/she feels about himself/herself and the gospel.

My grandma used to say, “If you’ve got it, flaunt it.” There’s certainly nothing wrong with looking good and dressing nicely, but wearing revealing clothing only serves to pique the wrong kind of interest. When my son attended high school, he’d come home and tell us how difficult it was to keep his mind clear in preparation for his mission when girls were wearing such low necklines. He had to avert his eyes on many occasions.

While young men have a responsibility to keep their minds clean and pure, girls have a responsibility to not provoke impure or unclean thoughts. “Never lower your dress standards for any occasion. Doing so sends the message that you are using your body to get attention and approval and that modesty is only important when it is convenient” (For the Strength of Youth, p. 15).

Young men and women that dress modestly look better and are more attractive. Rather than succumb to the low dress standards of our society, we should embrace modesty and shout out that, “Modest is hottest.”

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Honor Covenants: Samson's Downfall

I’ve been studying the Old Testament. Recently, I read the account of Samson. His parents desperately wanted a child. A messenger came to Manoah’s wife and promised her that she would bear a child that would, “ . . . begin to deliver Israel out of the hand of the Philistines” (Judges 13:5). The Lord wanted to make a great leader out of Samson. He blessed Samson with incredible strength. But, Samson’s weakness for women prevented him from becoming a great a noble leader among the Israelites. It’s hard to understand why Samson would engage in such a dangerous game with Delilah. He must’ve known she wanted to know the secret to his strength in order to destroy him but he continued to play the game until it cost him his eyes, and then his life.

As a kid, I’d heard about Samson and his long hair. I believed that his strength literally came from his hair. I thought that each hair on his head somehow endowed him with great strength. I thought it was a little strange that his hair could be so strong or could make him so strong, but I couldn’t come up with another explanation.

Now I understand that it wasn’t the actual hairs that made him strong, but rather his hair was a token of the covenant between him and the Lord. Once his hair, or token, was gone, the Lord no longer blessed him with strength. Samson’s hair is similar to our garments. We wear garments as a token of covenants that we’ve made. The fabric of the garments doesn’t have any magical powers. It is the act of worthily wearing the garments that allows the Lord to bless us.

Samson became distracted and lost sight of his covenant. He may have been so mesmerized by Delilah that he didn’t give much thought to the token of his covenant. Perhaps, he didn’t believe anything would come of his losing his hair. Whatever the case, we can learn from the story of Samson that the Lord will not be mocked.

When we make covenants, or promises, we need to be committed to keeping them. In the temple, we take upon us additional covenants. We need to remember how sacred those are by wearing our garments and not altering them in any way.

When we honor our covenants, the Lord blesses us. We may not receive strength to kill 1000 people with the jawbone of an ass (Judges15:15), but we will receive the strength we need to deal with our trials. Heavenly Father is eager to bless us. The more committed we are to keeping our covenants, the more he can heap blessings upon us.

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Importance of Education

“Seek learning, even by study and also by faith" (D&C 88:118).

After my father’s death, my mom was unable to provide a living for my sister and me. She didn’t have an education, or any skills, so when she was widowed at such a young age she was almost helpless. She struggled to find a job and a way to support our family. It was difficult and as a young girl, I made up my mind that I would never be in the same situation. I determined to receive my education so if the situation ever required me to support my family, I could. I graduated from BYU with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Communications.

Thankfully, Heavenly Father has blessed my family and me and I haven’t had to face the same situation as my mother nor have I had to work outside of the home. I’m very thankful for the blessing to be able to stay home and raise my children and have a strong testimony of the blessings that come from being able to stay home.

I was once told by a family member, “If I’d known you were going to waste your education raising children, I would never have encouraged you to go to college.” Is my education wasted on my children? Absolutely not. My education makes me a better mother.

In For the Strength of Youth it states, “The Lord wants you to educate your mind and improve your skills and abilities. Education will help you to be an influence for good in the world. . . Be willing to work diligently and make sacrifices to obtain learning. Education is important to the Lord and he will help us to obtain it.

The Lord has counseled us to understand “ . . . things both in heaven and in the earth, . . . that [we] may be prepared in all things" (D&C 88:78–80).

An education is never wasted because the knowledge we attain in this life will go with us to the next. “Whatever principle of intelligence we attain unto in this life, it will rise with us in the resurrection. And if a person gains more knowledge and intelligence in this life through his diligence and obedience than another, he will have so much the advantage in the world to come” (Doctrine and Covenants 130:18-19).This is especially true of the gospel knowledge we attain, but also applies to secular knowledge.

The more we can educate ourselves the better. Education, of course, is not limited to schooling. I’m confident that no matter how many parenting classes I could take, nothing could teach me about parenting like having my own children. We have the opportunity to gain knowledge all around us, but the best place to gain the knowledge that will help us eternally is in the scriptures and from latter-day prophets.

After all, “The glory of God is intelligence . . .” (Doctrine and Covenants 93:36).

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Friends

Friends are an important part of our lives, especially when we are teenagers. As I think back to my teenage years, I attribute much of my activity in the Church to my friends. When I was in 7th grade, I was invited to attend Mutual by Michelle. She encouraged me to come to Mutual and participate in the activities and she befriended me. She always made me feel comfortable and part of the group. To this day, we are still friends and I’m very thankful she invited me to attend Mutual.

Michelle moved to Utah when we entered high school so I became friends with a boy named Robbie and a girl named Kate. Robbie was a few years older than me, but he and I spent many hours together discussing the gospel. He never made me feel stupid because I knew so little about the gospel.

My friend Kate stuck by me through thick and thin in high school. We talked about everything and she, and her family, allowed me to see an active LDS family in real time. Kate encouraged me to keep the commandments and was my escort at the temple when I received my own endowments. Kate’s life has since taken a different direction and though we aren’t close anymore, I’m so thankful for the time she spent with me and will always be grateful for her influence in my life.

Friends should always encourage us to be better and to do the right thing. “They will greatly influence how [we] think and act, and even help determine the person [we] will become” (For the Strength of Youth, p. 12).

My children have friends who live very different lives from them and have completely different value systems. Yet, their friends still encourage them to keep their standards. When my son was offered alcohol, his friend immediately jumped in to say that my son didn’t drink alcohol. My daughter has a friend that’s a Buddhist. Though they disagree on many core beliefs, this friend has defended my daughter’s beliefs over and over again. He has always supported her and encouraged her to follow her values.

Sometimes, we advocate that our kids only find friends that are LDS. While we want our children to choose friends wisely, if we shut ourselves off from others who aren’t of our faith how will we spread the gospel message? My kids’ friends may not be interested in the gospel today, but when they think of their friendships with my kids, hopefully, they will see the Church in a positive light and perhaps somewhere down the road they will be interested enough to investigate.

“To have good friends, be a good friend yourself. Show interest in others and let them know you care about them. Treat everyone with kindness and respect. Go out of your way to be a friend to those who are shy or do not feel included” (For the Strength of Youth, p. 12). Of course, the most important reason to attend church is to partake of the sacrament and strengthen our testimonies, but we can have a dramatic effect on others if we extend our friendship and make sure they feel included. A good friend can be the means of helping others to not only find the Church, but to remain active in it.

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We Are What We Say

“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good” (Ephesians 4:29).

When I was first married, my husband and I were visiting his mother for the weekend. While we were there, her home teachers came over and taught a lesson on profanity. The older home teacher shared some scriptures and admonished us to use good language. He closed the lesson with a prayer and then we walked him and his companion to the front door. As he walked through the front yard, we could easily hear the cuss words that left his mouth before he made it to his car. This same older gentleman noticed my husband one Sunday at church when we were visiting a different time. He used a few choice words, in a loving way of course, to recognize my husband. This exchange happened while we were in the chapel. I quickly moved just in case a bolt of lightning hit. Apparently, he was still working on the whole idea of not using profanity.

I grew up with my grandparents and profane words were commonplace. I believe it was part of their generation and, honestly, I don’t think either one of them even noticed the profane words in their speech. As a kid, I didn’t notice it much. It was so common to hear cussing in my home that I became desensitized to it.

My husband’s family never used profanity so we adopted that rule in our home. It was always interesting to go back to visit my grandparents because my sensitivities had changed and suddenly I noticed all of the profanity they used, as did my children. Every time one of my grandparents would say a “bad” word, my kids would turn to me in utter shock. We eventually learned to deal with the differences in vocabulary without offending my grandparents.

I always find it so disappointing when I attend a movie and the language is coarse, or worse. I’ve actually walked out of movies with bad language. Thankfully, we own a device called the TV-Guardian that allows us to remove foul language from television shows and DVDs.

When I am at the high school, or even in town shopping, I hear obscenities. Sometimes, I’ve turned to the group of kids using that language and asked them to please not say such words in front of my children. Surprisingly, some of them actually respect my request. For the others that ignore me, I always wish I could pull out my TV-G and zap them with it.

As a writer, I find the words of our language mesmerizing. We have been blessed with so many descriptive and beautiful words. When we use profanity, we shortchange our listeners, and ourselves, because we aren’t using the specific language that would best communicate what we’re sharing.

I love the sounds of words. I love to play with words. I love to learn new words and then use them. My kids constantly challenge the words I use and tell me I’ve made them up. Just a few days ago, my son looked up volatile because he didn’t believe it was a real word.

Latter-day prophets have counseled us to avoid profanity and obscenity in our speech. Our word choices communicate to others what is important to us. The more we can avoid profanity, the better because, “How you speak says much about who you are. Clean and intelligent language is evidence of a bright and wholesome mind” (For the Strength of Youth, p. 22).

My father-in-law used to say, “Whatever you’re full of, runs out your mouth.”

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Wise Use of Time

When I was a newly-married BYU student, I had a written assignment due in one of my classes. I’d refused to use a computer because I felt comfortable with my electric typewriter and I understood the typewriter. After much persistence, my husband convinced me to use a computer for my papers. I agreed and started working on this written assignment that counted heavily for my grade. Unfortunately, while in college I hadn’t developed a good planning schedule and I was trying to complete this paper the night before it was due.

As I neared the end of my paper, I looked forward to seeing how the computer could help me write a better paper by allowing me to edit right on the screen and use some strange new contraption called the spell checker. I decided to grab a quick drink of water before I finished the last page. I walked back to the computer, across the carpet, and touched the keyboard. Zap. Everything on the computer went dark. Yep, I’d shocked it and in the process lost all of my work. To say that I was devastated would be an understatement. The hour was late and as I stared at the black screen, it was too much for me. I went to bed resigned to the fact I’d receive an F and possibly have to take the class over again. I was in a crisis situation.

(The rest of the story: when I awoke the next morning, I found my paper typed up and ready for me to turn in. My sweet husband sacrificed his entire night to finish my paper).

Many times, we can avoid such crisis situations if we plan ahead and use our time wisely.

1. Prioritize. We need to determine what things are most important and which need to be accomplished first. I like to use the list method to write down everything I need to do and then accomplish my most important tasks, like reading my scriptures, first.

2. Eliminate. Some activities or things that take up our time may not be worth our time. We need to eliminate those things. When I was a kid, my grandfather was retired and he watched soap operas every day. I watched them with him and continued to watch them even after I was married. One day, it hit me. I could be spending that time doing something much more worthwhile.

3. Improve Habits. If we can make our work and study time more effective and useful we can accomplish more each day. I’m always amazed when one of my kids can take an entire afternoon to clean his or her room when it should’ve only taken an hour.

4. Realize Limitations. There’s only so much time in a day and we only have so much energy. We need to realize that we have limitations and only commit to that which we can realistically do.

We need to be careful to not overschedule ourselves. In Mosiah 4:27 we’re admonished, “And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in orfer.”

When we are stretched beyond our capacity, we often neglect the most important aspects of our lives such as reading and pondering the scriptures, family home evening, praying, or spending time with our families.

It’s important that we take time each day to relax and enjoy our kids, read a good book, exercise, scrapbook, or participate in other uplifting wholesome activities that provide us with peace.

We all only have 24 hours a day. Some of us make better use of that time than others. At some point, we will be held accountable for how we use our time. If we use it wisely, not only will we be able to avoid most crisis situations, we will also accomplish more and waste less time.

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Talents

Two of my daughters and I participated in a craft fair on Saturday. Prior to the fair, my daughters made earrings, t-shirts, and Christmas ornaments. I was impressed with the beauty and uniqueness of each pair of earrings, t-shirt, and candy cane ornaments they made. I tried my hand at a few pair of earrings, but decided my talent must be elsewhere so I offered my books for sale.

Unfortunately, we didn’t attract a large crowd for the fair and of those that attended, few were interested in what we offered. I did sell my books and we sold a few pairs of earrings and some ornaments. Sales weren’t what my daughters had hoped for, but it was still a good experience because they discovered new talents.

In Matthew 25:15-30 we learn about the parable of the talents. The first two servants increased their talents while the third buried his. When the master came to collect the talents, he was pleased with his first two servants who had doubled their talents. Said he to the servants, “ . . . Well done good and faithful servant, thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord” (Matthew 25:23).

When he asked the third servant about the talent he’d been given, the servant replied, “ And I was afraid, and went and hid thy talent in the earth; lo, there thou hast that is thine” (Matthew 15:25). The master was displeased that his servant had not increased the talent he’d been given. The master took the talent from the unprofitable servant and gave it to the first servant.

“For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath” (Matthew 25:29). In other words, if we do not increase our talent we will lose even that talent which we possess.

Heavenly Father has blessed each one of us with talents. It’s up to us individually to do something with that talent.

Sometimes, it’s difficult to know what talent we’ve been blessed with. In the past, when I’ve attended Relief Society talent nights, I’ve felt self-conscious because I don’t sing, dance, or play an instrument. I don’t sew, can, or knit (actually, I really like to knit and crochet, but I’m not very good at it). I love to write, but still don’t know if it’s actually a talent or I’m just too stubborn to give it up.

Talents aren’t only what we can see or hear. I have a sister who has a talent for empathy. If she becomes aware of anyone that’s struggling, she’s quick to lend help and support. I have kids whose talents include compassion, faith, obedience, optimism, and kindness. My husband has a talent for gentleness and meekness.

If we hide our talents because we fear what others may say or think, we won’t be able to accomplish that which Heavenly Father wants us to accomplish. We each have specific talents for a reason. We need to do our best to develop our talents and use them to bless the lives of others.

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Finding Joy in the Journey

I was honored to speak at a Young Women in Excellence program in my stake a few nights ago. The YW leaders and their genuine enthusiasm and love for the girls impressed me. What a fun bunch of ladies.

My subject was, “Finding Joy in the Journey.” A perfect subject for me because, I admit, I don’t find particular joy in changing poopy diapers or cleaning boogers off the wall. Preparing for this talk allowed me to assess my own life’s circumstances and evaluate my attitude.

If you’ve read previous posts, including Future Baker, you are aware of my two-year-old’s penchant for mischief. On any given day, he’ll pull all of the pots and pans out of the cupboard, grab books from our library and either rip them or draw on them, or tip over the trashcans. He also loves to fling CDs or DVDs across the room, pound on the piano, or turn off, restart, or even crash the computers. He thinks the toilet is his own personal mixing bowl and he throws objects into it and then uses his hand to mix it around. He rarely leaves the dishes alone and has recently broken one of my bowls. A few days ago, while my back was turned for a few minutes, he emptied the flour bag onto the floor and then spread it across the room. When I discovered the flour mess, I had to laugh and then take the photo I posted a few days ago.

Our time in mortality is relatively short compared to eternity. We’ve been told in 2 Nephi 2:25, “ . . . men are, that they night have joy.” Heavenly Father wants us to enjoy our time in mortality. After all, the journey is just as important as the destination.

The following ways can help us find joy as we journey through life:

Praying—we’re all faced with trials at one time or another. If we ask Heavenly Father to help us endure the hard times and find joy even in the most difficult circumstances, he will. We can always turn to him for comfort and guidance.

Writing it Down—we’ve been asked to keep a journal. Writing down our experiences can help us see the hand of the Lord in our lives. We can also learn from our experiences. Sometimes, we might even see the humor in a situation.

Having Gratitude—no matter what we’re facing in life, we still have so many blessings. Having the restored gospel is an incredible blessing that can provide us with peace during turbulent times. We should always count our blessings and recognize the Lord’s hand.

Taking Time—we should try to take the time to enjoy even the little things like animals romping in the field, a beautiful flower, or a chubby hand covered in peanut butter.

Looking for Opportunities—we need to make time to find joy. Our lives can become so hectic that we miss opportunities to sit back and enjoy it. Scheduling a family game night, a date with a spouse, or time to visit an elderly relative can provide opportunities to feel joy.

Keeping the Commandments—when we are shackled with the guilt of breaking the commandments it’s much harder to find the joy in life. Keeping the commandments allows us to enjoy our life to the fullest without Satan exerting control over us.

Laughing—it’s been said that laughter is the best medicine and it’s true. There are days when I just have to laugh because the day has been so ridiculous. When we laugh, we can release tensions and see the humorous side of things.

Yesterday is over and tomorrow isn’t here yet. We only have today and the Lord wants us to find joy in all of our todays.

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Traditions Anchored in Service

I wanted to share some more family traditions. Years ago, my sister made a 24 Days of Christmas book for our family. It contains a scripture, a song, and a story for each of the twenty-four days before Christmas. As a family, we use this book every year to prepare us for Christmas. I love the story, Gift of the Magi by O. Henry. It illustrates such unselfish love. Both the husband and the wife give of themselves for the other one. We also read about an unselfish girl who finds a treasure in a loaf of bread, a small tree that gives its last leaf to keep a bird warm, and a young Thomas S. Monson who learns the true meaning of Christmas.

I think my favorite story, though, is The Other Wiseman. It always brings tears to my eyes when I think about how this man so desperately wanted to see the Savior. He gave everything he had and lived his life with the single purpose of meeting the Redeemer of the world, but unfortunately, barely missed him before he was crucified. As the man is dying, he’s distraught that he never got to see Christ, but the Savior appears to him and tells him that because of his selfless service to those around him, he has served God. This story reminds me that when I serve others, including my own children, I am serving God.

Another tradition we have is choosing a family in our community that we can “Secret Santa.” We encourage our children to participate as much as possible while keeping the family’s identity a secret. We choose a different family each year. Over the years, we’ve included food, homemade items, toys, clothes, and toiletries. It’s always fun to find a sneaky way to leave a box filled with gifts and it helps our kids to see beyond themselves and realize that others are in need of a little extra Christmas cheer.

As a youth, I remember going to a widow’s house and delivering a tree. We decorated it and spent time with her. I also remember taking food to a lonely neighbor and visiting with her. My grandmother was so selfless when it came to serving others. One year, we even learned a song in our neighbor’s native language and sang it to her on Christmas Eve. Now, with my family, we try to remember our neighbors by delivering goodies and caroling to them each year. No one will mistake us for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir because our songs are delivered with more love than melody. :)

Traditions anchored in service, especially during a time of year that’s become so commercialized and filled with selfish desires, will help unite and strengthen a family. Children that participate in service-oriented activities during Christmas learn valuable lessons about what’s really important and that Christmas is about far more than toys and trinkets.

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Family Traditions

Every year, on the day after Thanksgiving, we pull out all of our Christmas decorations, put on the Christmas tunes, and decorate our house for Christmas.

We used to trudge through the forest searching for that one, perfect tree—you know, with the light shining down from heaven and a chorus of angels singing. On two different occasions, I had newborns that I carried in a front pack as we hiked through the trees seeking the one that would have the honor of adorning our living room for the season. Year after year, we cut down our own tree despite the snow, rain, or complaints from small children that their legs were going to fall off.

Searching for the tree was usually so exhausting and took so long that some years we had to postpone the decorating until the next day. And, too many times to count, we reminded ourselves during the drive home that we had a tree on top of the vehicle and we should not drive into the garage. Yet, time after time, we’d forget and drive into the garage, wedging the tree between the top of the vehicle and the garage door. That became one of our traditions.

Unfortunately, a beetle infestation combined with several years of drought killed the majority of pinion trees in our area. We then decided we’d—gasp—buy an artificial tree in an effort to leave the live trees intact and allow for new tree growth. We may go back to cutting down our own tree when the forest has had a chance to regenerate itself, but by then it may be too difficult to maneuver our wheelchairs and canes through the forest.

Our family tradition of decorating for Christmas the day after Thanksgiving has become an important part of our family’s memories and the kids look forward to it each year. My son, who recently returned home from his mission, has nicknamed the day, “The Talley Family Christmas Halapalooza.” He’s said many times how much he missed this tradition while he was away in Italy.

Traditions are an important part of our families. Kids look forward to traditions and see them as a constant in their ever-changing lives. No matter what, my kids know that instead of shopping on Black Friday, we’ll be putting up the Christmas tree, sipping hot chocolate, and watching, “Christmas Vacation.”

Of course, other traditions are even more important. Family scripture study, family home evening, and family prayer are all traditions that will not only strengthen our family here and now, they will bind us together for eternity.

When we were first married, we instituted a tradition of reading our scriptures together, reciting an Article of Faith, singing a hymn (usually a Primary song), and then saying our family prayer. It’s become such an integral part of our family that our kids won’t allow us to skip any part of it, even if it means we’re doing it at midnight.

Traditions that are grounded in the gospel will unite our families and draw us closer together. It’s never too late to start a family tradition.

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