My oldest son graduated from high school in 2005. In the last few weeks, two of his classmates have passed away. One died from blood clots in her lungs. I did not know her but feel sad for her family and friends. She was only 24.
The second classmate, Tyler Black, who died over the weekend in a single-engine plane crash on his way to Aspen, I did know. He was in the theater program with my son. He was quite thin and for one of the dance shows he was dressed up as Superman and did some hilarious dance moves. I don't even remember who else was onstage with him because he was so funny he stole the scene. My son was cast as Captain Hook in Peter Pan during his senior year. Tyler was cast as his sidekick, Smee. Tyler played this character so well. He was creepy yet endearing. He and my son made a great combination on stage. Since that time, I often saw Tyler in the audience at various performances supporting his friends.
Tyler's mother has been the choir teacher at our middle school for many years. She's taught most of my kids and was especially encouraging with one of my daughters inviting her to perform in a song competition. She's worked hard to help kids in middle school learn to sing. I cannot imagine the despair she feels at this time.
I have lost both my parents, my maternal grandparents who raised me after my parents died, my paternal grandfather, my sister-in-law, and a very close family friend. Losing a loved one is so painful. My grandmother often said that losing a child was the worst possible pain. I think that the day my mother died, part of my grandfather died with her. He said several times he wanted to jump in the coffin with her. So heartbreaking.
I am thankful for the plan of happiness and to know, really know, that life does not end with death. Though it is very painful to lose someone, death is simply a step in our eternal progression. It is this knowledge that has allowed me to go forward in mortality. I know I will see those I've loved and lost. And I know they are never very far from me.
I don't think the pain of losing someone ever fully disappears, but it isn't that sharp, stabbing pain as time goes on. I still miss those I've lost to death. And I become emotional when I speak about them, but I have faith I will be with them again someday.
Life is very fragile. We never know what will happen. Tyler had no idea that this plane trip would be his last or that his post on FB before boarding that plane would be his last. His family had no idea. We must make each day count. We must love each other. We must forgive. We must let go of anger and grudges. We must let those we love know that we love them. Every day.
We never know when it will be the last goodbye. I still remember vividly the day my father left for work and I got up to tell him goodbye, something I didn't usually do. I even ran to my bedroom window to watch his car leave the subdivision. It was the last time I saw him.
I hope that the families of these two young people will find some comfort. I hope they will feel the arms of the Lord wrapped around them as they trudge through life without their loved ones. And I hope that we will find joy with those who are yet alive. That we will take the time, especially during this season, to right any wrongs and to let those we love know that we love them because life is so very fragile.
Showing posts with label Plan of Happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Plan of Happiness. Show all posts
Monday, December 5, 2011
Friday, March 27, 2009
What Might Have Been
As I have written previously, I have been studying the Old Testament. I concluded the story of Saul last week, but I am still thinking about him. His story has affected me deeply and saddened me because his life illustrates what might have been. I mourn what he might have done with his life and who he might have been if only he had chosen to follow God instead of his natural man.
We are all like Saul. We all have the opportunity to follow our divine destinies or to turn away and follow after our own desires. Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us. He will never force us to follow that plan nor will he stop us from abandoning it.
As a young man, my grandfather attended church with his family. His mother and father both emigrated from Europe and found the gospel. Unfortunately, his father worked in the coal mines and succumbed to Black Lung when my grandfather was still a teenager. Back in the early 20th century times were tough, especially for a widow with children. They constantly struggled to make ends meet.
Something occurred in their ward that offended my great-grandmother. Though she got over it, my grandfather never did and he carried that grudge with him for the rest of his life. He never had a good thing to say about the Church and was vehemently opposed to me attending church, seminary, or paying my tithing.
My grandfather was an incredibly intelligent and talented man. He could fix anything. He knew so much about electronics. He invented the mute button for annoying television commercials long before it was readily available on remotes. He had a kind heart—he consented to raising my sister and me after our parents died, even though he’d planned to retire without worrying about raising a second family. He loved my sister and me and, I think, he was proud of us.
He could have been an amazing leader in the Church. He could have used his talents to further the kingdom of God. He could have been a missionary and used his priesthood to bless our lives and the lives of others. He could have done so many things, but he didn’t. He nursed his grudge and he gave into his natural man, much like Saul. It makes me ache to think of what he could have done with his life, but chose not to, simply because he let Satan influence him instead of God. Perhaps, that is why Saul’s story has affected me so dramatically—instead of Saul, I see my grandfather.
His life as well as Saul’s serves as a reminder to me. Heavenly Father has a plan for me and it’s my responsibility to continually follow that plan. I can get glimpses of Heavenly Father’s plan for me through rereading my patriarchal blessing, inspiration while I’m reading the scriptures or attending the temple, or while I’m praying.
I hope that each of us will seek to follow Heavenly Father’s plan so it will not be said of us, “For of all sad words of tongue or pen, The saddest are these: `It might have been!’” (from John Greenleaf Whittier's poem Maud Muller).
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We are all like Saul. We all have the opportunity to follow our divine destinies or to turn away and follow after our own desires. Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us. He will never force us to follow that plan nor will he stop us from abandoning it.
As a young man, my grandfather attended church with his family. His mother and father both emigrated from Europe and found the gospel. Unfortunately, his father worked in the coal mines and succumbed to Black Lung when my grandfather was still a teenager. Back in the early 20th century times were tough, especially for a widow with children. They constantly struggled to make ends meet.
Something occurred in their ward that offended my great-grandmother. Though she got over it, my grandfather never did and he carried that grudge with him for the rest of his life. He never had a good thing to say about the Church and was vehemently opposed to me attending church, seminary, or paying my tithing.
My grandfather was an incredibly intelligent and talented man. He could fix anything. He knew so much about electronics. He invented the mute button for annoying television commercials long before it was readily available on remotes. He had a kind heart—he consented to raising my sister and me after our parents died, even though he’d planned to retire without worrying about raising a second family. He loved my sister and me and, I think, he was proud of us.
He could have been an amazing leader in the Church. He could have used his talents to further the kingdom of God. He could have been a missionary and used his priesthood to bless our lives and the lives of others. He could have done so many things, but he didn’t. He nursed his grudge and he gave into his natural man, much like Saul. It makes me ache to think of what he could have done with his life, but chose not to, simply because he let Satan influence him instead of God. Perhaps, that is why Saul’s story has affected me so dramatically—instead of Saul, I see my grandfather.
His life as well as Saul’s serves as a reminder to me. Heavenly Father has a plan for me and it’s my responsibility to continually follow that plan. I can get glimpses of Heavenly Father’s plan for me through rereading my patriarchal blessing, inspiration while I’m reading the scriptures or attending the temple, or while I’m praying.
I hope that each of us will seek to follow Heavenly Father’s plan so it will not be said of us, “For of all sad words of tongue or pen, The saddest are these: `It might have been!’” (from John Greenleaf Whittier's poem Maud Muller).
Return to the neighborhood.
And while you're there, subscribe to our fantastic newsletter. In addition to being able to shop in the new virtual neighborhood, our newsletter brings you articles, products, services, resources and interviews from around the world—all with an LDS focus. Look for issues delivered to your email inbox every week on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday.
Neighborhood Newsletter Subscriptions are FREE, and joining is easy.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Change is Constant
Nothing is as constant as change.
Throughout our lives, we encounter change. It’s a natural part of mortality. Some of these changes we embrace and others we’d prefer to avoid. Sometimes, we can choose the changes and other times we cannot. But, we can always choose how we will react to the changes in our lives.
Some people felt sorry for me after I gave birth to my son with Down syndrome because they thought his birth would change my life in negative ways. More than likely, they thought that if they were in my situation, they’d feel that his birth and subsequent life would have a negative impact on their own lives. One comment I received was that the idea of life-long care for a child would be too much. That’s never bothered me. Honestly, when my son was born I was so thankful he was alive and didn’t have any health problems that nothing else mattered. Perhaps, he will need to live with me for the duration of his time in mortality. If that’s the case, I’m fine with that. Perhaps, he will be able to live on his own but with close supervision. That’s okay, too. As he matures, we may need to move to another area that will offer him more opportunities. Again, I can deal with that. I am confident that Heavenly Father will provide a way for my son to thrive in mortality as long as I’m willing to accept those changes that may be required in my own life. I can’t change the fact that my son has an extra chromosome, but I can absolutely choose how I will react to it. In truth, my son is such a wonderful part of my family, it isn’t really a trial or challenge to have him.
When my sister-in-law was diagnosed with lung cancer, I was amazed at how she chose to react to the life-altering news. She had such faith and trust in Heavenly Father. She was never bitter and never asked why she’d been given that trial. She accepted it and lived the rest of her life with grace and faith. After her death, her husband came to visit our family. He told us that he missed her, but he wasn’t angry. He wished she was still with him, but he didn’t feel bad that she died because he knew, and still knows, he’ll be with her again someday. Her long illness and death certainly brought a drastic change to her family, but her husband and children all turned to God and put their faith in His plan.
I was so excited to give birth to my first child. I’d anticipated his birth for nine months and I was thrilled to be a mother for the first time. Though I was happy about having this new baby in my life, I did have to adjust to caring for him. Since
I was nursing him, I had to feed him every few hours around the clock, something I’d never done before. Suddenly, I had a child that depended on me for his very existence. My husband helped a great deal, but try as he might, he couldn’t lactate. Only I could provide sustenance for my new baby and some nights, it was hard to be so exhausted and still feed him.
Though some of the changes in our lives such as marriage, birth of a child, going off to college, or serving a mission may be positive, they can still require an adjustment period. Whenever things change, even if they’re for the good, it can be hard to adjust to those changes. Staying close to Heavenly Father through prayer, and putting our faith and trust in Him, will help us accept and adjust to changes more easily. As we seek to have His peace in our lives, we will be able to deal with the constant changes.
Return to the neighborhood.
And while you're there, subscribe to our fantastic newsletter. Welcome to the yourLDSneighborhood newsletter. In addition to being able to shop in the new virtual neighborhood, the LDS newsletter brings you LDS articles, LDS products, LDS services, LDS resources and LDS interviews from around the world—all with an LDS focus. Look for issues delivered to your email inbox every week on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday. LDS Newsletter Subscriptions are FREE, and joining is easy.
Throughout our lives, we encounter change. It’s a natural part of mortality. Some of these changes we embrace and others we’d prefer to avoid. Sometimes, we can choose the changes and other times we cannot. But, we can always choose how we will react to the changes in our lives.
Some people felt sorry for me after I gave birth to my son with Down syndrome because they thought his birth would change my life in negative ways. More than likely, they thought that if they were in my situation, they’d feel that his birth and subsequent life would have a negative impact on their own lives. One comment I received was that the idea of life-long care for a child would be too much. That’s never bothered me. Honestly, when my son was born I was so thankful he was alive and didn’t have any health problems that nothing else mattered. Perhaps, he will need to live with me for the duration of his time in mortality. If that’s the case, I’m fine with that. Perhaps, he will be able to live on his own but with close supervision. That’s okay, too. As he matures, we may need to move to another area that will offer him more opportunities. Again, I can deal with that. I am confident that Heavenly Father will provide a way for my son to thrive in mortality as long as I’m willing to accept those changes that may be required in my own life. I can’t change the fact that my son has an extra chromosome, but I can absolutely choose how I will react to it. In truth, my son is such a wonderful part of my family, it isn’t really a trial or challenge to have him.
When my sister-in-law was diagnosed with lung cancer, I was amazed at how she chose to react to the life-altering news. She had such faith and trust in Heavenly Father. She was never bitter and never asked why she’d been given that trial. She accepted it and lived the rest of her life with grace and faith. After her death, her husband came to visit our family. He told us that he missed her, but he wasn’t angry. He wished she was still with him, but he didn’t feel bad that she died because he knew, and still knows, he’ll be with her again someday. Her long illness and death certainly brought a drastic change to her family, but her husband and children all turned to God and put their faith in His plan.
I was so excited to give birth to my first child. I’d anticipated his birth for nine months and I was thrilled to be a mother for the first time. Though I was happy about having this new baby in my life, I did have to adjust to caring for him. Since
I was nursing him, I had to feed him every few hours around the clock, something I’d never done before. Suddenly, I had a child that depended on me for his very existence. My husband helped a great deal, but try as he might, he couldn’t lactate. Only I could provide sustenance for my new baby and some nights, it was hard to be so exhausted and still feed him.
Though some of the changes in our lives such as marriage, birth of a child, going off to college, or serving a mission may be positive, they can still require an adjustment period. Whenever things change, even if they’re for the good, it can be hard to adjust to those changes. Staying close to Heavenly Father through prayer, and putting our faith and trust in Him, will help us accept and adjust to changes more easily. As we seek to have His peace in our lives, we will be able to deal with the constant changes.
Return to the neighborhood.
And while you're there, subscribe to our fantastic newsletter. Welcome to the yourLDSneighborhood newsletter. In addition to being able to shop in the new virtual neighborhood, the LDS newsletter brings you LDS articles, LDS products, LDS services, LDS resources and LDS interviews from around the world—all with an LDS focus. Look for issues delivered to your email inbox every week on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday. LDS Newsletter Subscriptions are FREE, and joining is easy.
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