If you read a previous post, you'll know how excited I was when I learned my mother's high school graduating class was going to be opening a time capsule in celebration of its 50th class reunion. I was hoping there'd be something from her that would give me some insight into her life since she passed away 36 years ago.
I waited for the report on the local news channel and even watched the clip of them opening the capsule. Much to my disappointment all it contained was a newspaper from that time period and a directory of school district employees. Blah. Not exciting at all.
In my mind, I had built up this incredible experience where they'd open the capsule and there would be letters from students, including one from my mom. In my imagination her letter talked about her dreams and aspirations, her life in high school, and maybe even a bit about her personality. I fantasized that I'd be able to get that letter and hold it in my hands, a tangible piece of my mother.
She wrote a book of poems that I illustrated back in the early 1970s after my father passed away. That book gives me some insight into her heart and what it was like to be widowed at such a young age, but I still yearn for more.
I suppose I'll never really know her until I have the opportunity to see her again. I know many people do not believe in life after death, but I'm as certain of that as I am that the sun will rise each day. I've had far too many experiences to deny the existence of life after death. I know someday I will be reunited with my parents and I will have the opportunity to truly know each one of them. And this is what gets me through the times when I miss them more than usual. The times I wanted to share with them in mortality like the births of each of my children, birthday celebrations, Christmas, vacations, graduations, marriages.
Through the years I've learned to live with their absences and no longer feel that stabbing pain of mourning, but missing them has never ever left me. You'd think after 35 plus years I wouldn't even think about it, but my parents are a part of me. Though I did not know them much in mortality, they live within me, and someday, I am confident, I will spend eternity with them and this time apart in mortality will only be a small memory.