My dad was very handsome. I think he was quiet and a little shy. I think I was a "Daddy's Girl." I have a few memories of him. He used to take me for a walk along the breakwater in Santa Barbara. It's a man-made wall between the harbor and the ocean and during certain times, the sea spray can drench you. I used to laugh when we'd get sprayed.
I also remember him coming to my birthday parties. We had them at a park near where he was an assistant manager at Jordano's grocery store. He'd walk to the park during his lunch break and spend a little time with me. Thankfully, my mom and dad had purchased a Super 8 movie camera and filmed my birthday parties, among other events, so I can now view them and see my dad and that helps with my memories.
He loved my mother. He wanted to make our lives wonderful and he was ambitious and that's why he took another job in a town about an hour away. Unfortunately, I also remember that he used to get speeding tickets. And it was that speeding that got him late one night, just before Christmas.
I used to wish I could go back in time and change things, that I could stop him from speeding or stop him from leaving that morning. I've missed having a dad. I missed out on getting to really know him. I have few memories of him. But it does no good to dwell on what happened or what might have been. All I can do is look forward and to live my life so that someday I can see him again. Someday, I will be able to know him and spend time with him.
Someday, I hope to lose myself in his hug and spend eternity with my daddy.
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