Who's at the Door? by Dan Harrington

From the back cover:


Experience the gospel in a new perspective while witnessing Dan Harrington's spiritual journey. 

Not just another tale of conversion, Dan reverently reveals the Mormon religion through a non-member's eyes as he reflects upon his experiences with missionaries and Church members, forges new friendships, and finds an unexpected common ground of faith. 

Find out who's at the door and see what can happen when you open it. 

I enjoyed this book. My son served his mission in Rome, Italy and I often wondered what it was like for the people that met him. He's so full of energy and excitement that I'm sure many he met caught his enthusiasm. This book allowed me to see a mission from another perspective--that of an investigator.

Harrington is candid and honest about his experience with the missionaries. He also shares his feelings about members of the Church he met. One particular experience made me cringe. A member of the ward was supposed to come and meet with him and the missionaries but didn't show up, on more than one occasion. I realize that things come up and we all have tremendously busy lives, but I wish someone from that ward would've been able to attend the discussion with Mr. Harrington and the elders.

I wasn't sure if I'd like this book, I'm not a big memoir reader, but it pulled me in. I found myself thinking about it and hoping for a particular ending. This isn't a conversion story, it's about Harrington's spiritual journey and I liked his candor.  He didn't sugarcoat anything. It made me realize that I need to teach my boys even better how to be an effective missionary, how to be a friend to those they teach, and how to bring the Spirit to any meeting.

I hope Mr. Harrington continues on his spiritual journey and I hope it leads him to the Savior. I feel like I know him, or at least a bit about him, after reading his book and it's made me ask myself some questions.

I recommend this book to any who want to venture out on a spiritual journey and to any who want to know the other side of a mission.

He's Home

I’ve been somewhat absent from the blog world for the past week or so as I’ve been preparing for my son to return home from his mission. We’ve been cleaning and getting the boys’ room ready, which is no small feat. How two boys can be so messy is beyond me. Any why I agreed to letting them have toads, and lizards, and a turtle in their room is even more beyond me.

Wednesday we were all working hard so we could leave for the airport to pick up my son. We’d been counting `down the days (I admit, I was counting down the hours) and were all so excited for his arrival. The phone rang. We figured it was probably my son. As soon as I heard his voice, I knew something was wrong. He explained that his plane in Rome had been delayed and by the time it arrived in New York, he’d missed his connecting flight. He couldn’t make it home Wednesday night. He could make it as far as Salt Lake, but no farther. And, since it was an air traffic control problem in Rome, the airline was not obligated to get him a hotel room. Fortunately, one of his buddies is living in Provo and he agreed to go get my son and bring him back the next morning. I was thankful for, and envious of, my son’s friend, though I felt like someone had socked me in the stomach. But, I looked on the bright side and knew I’d see him the next day.

Thursday morning (yesterday) I popped out of bed to get some chores done and then we drove into town in our big, enormous 15-passenger van. We ran a few errands, all the while talking about how excited were all were. Tears sprang spontaneously from my eyes each time I thought about seeing him again after two years.
We drove over to the airport a little early and found that his plane was expected earlier than we had anticipated. I was relieved I hadn’t listened to my kids and gone to Walmart on the way to the airport. If I had missed his arrival . . . well, I’m just glad we went straight to the airport.

I stared at the clock and we all counted down the minutes. It was like New Year’s Eve, but with a much better thing at the end of the countdown. My sister and 9 of her 10 kids came bounding through the lobby doors. They were armed with posters and balloons. My sisters-in-law, a brother-in-law, a nephew, another nephew’s wife and baby, and my mother-in-law and her husband all arrived. We were a large crown gathered in our tiny rural airport. Passersby stopped to see the posters and watch the excitement.

My heart was beating so fast and I felt like I couldn’t breathe as I waited for my son to walk through the doors. As soon as the doors opened, my heart felt like it was going to jump right out of my chest. After a few passengers, my son emerged with a smile plastered all over his face, and we all let out screams of delight. I rushed to him and threw my arms around his neck. Tears flowed freely as I pulled him close to me. It’s hard to describe the incredible joy at being reunited with him after two years. It was even better than the day he was born. He was safe, in my arms, once again, my strong, wonderful son who had just dedicated his life to serving the Lord for two years.

It was surreal as I watched him hugging other family members. I was so filled with joy at seeing him and, yet, almost couldn’t believe he was actually there. I felt like I needed to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. I was filled with so much gratitude to the Lord for watching over my son and protecting him and magnifying him. I was so thankful that my son had made the choice to serve and though his mission was difficult, he never gave up. He stayed and he worked and he prayed and he grew.

It is definitely a sacrifice for a young man to serve a mission, but the blessings outweigh the sacrifice by a hundredfold.


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54 Hours and Counting

My son will be home from his mission in approximately 54 hours. Wahoo! I am so excited to see him. I’ve tried to not think about it too much so I wouldn’t get too distracted. I can’t believe his two years are up and he’ll soon be a return missionary.

It seems as though it was only a moment ago the doctor first placed him in my arms. I remember looking into his eyes and imagining all sorts of things for him. His life was full of possibilities. One of the things I hoped for him was that he’d serve a mission.

Throughout his childhood we talked about his mission. I tried to teach him the gospel through reading scriptures, saying prayers, attending church, and having Family Home Evenings about the gospel and more specifically about sharing the gospel.
As a teenager, he attended seminary and I was so thankful as I watched his testimony grow and his love for the scriptures increase. He thoroughly enjoyed seminary and often talked about the day’s lesson at dinner that night.

One of the experiences that cemented his desire to serve a mission is when he attended an MTC camp in the mountains. During this camp, the young men have classes, scripture discussions, team-building games, and opportunities to hear guest speakers. At the end of the camp, each young man is encouraged to find a solitary place to pray and have his own “sacred grove” experience.

My son’s testimony also grew when he was involved in a pioneer trek in the mountains near our home. His testimony was strengthened as he realized what the pioneers sacrificed for the gospel.

I’m certainly no expert on how to get a young man to serve a mission, but I have a strong and fervent testimony that following the counsel of the prophets, reading the scriptures, praying every day, holding consistent home evenings, and supporting church activities will help boys have the desire to serve a mission. I believe that taking advantage of all opportunities including seminary, Scouting, and missionary-themed activities will give boys a push that they might not otherwise get. I think it’s so important for parents to support these programs and to encourage their kids to attend and participate in these activities.

I can’t believe my son’s mission will come to an end in just about two days. It felt as though I’d left a crucial body organ at the MTC when we were told, “Missionaries through this door, everyone else through the other door.” I thought two years would take forever and it’d be so hard. But, it’s flown by. Not because I haven’t missed him, but because he’s been so happy serving in Italy and I’ve been so thrilled that he’s been serving a mission. Missing him has been tempered with the knowledge that he’s working so hard to bring the gospel message to the good people of Italy. Heavenly Father has blessed me with a calm, peaceful feeling these two years while my son has been halfway across the world.

I am so thankful my son has been serving. Believe me, I will hug him with all my might as soon as he’s off that plane and I will be so happy to see him, but I will always be so grateful for his choice to serve a mission and I know that Heavenly Father will bless him because of his efforts.

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Youth Conference Testimonies

I’m going to detour today from writing about our basic beliefs in the LDS Church because I wanted to share an experience I had over the weekend.
I am currently serving in the Young Women’s organization in my ward and decided I wanted to attend the 4 Stake youth conference this last Friday and Saturday. Though I could only attend a portion because of babysitter issues, I am very thankful I was able to participate.

The conference was held on the old campus of a local college, nestled in the trees and surrounded by the mountains. It’s a beautiful place that’s used for these kinds of events. When I arrived, the youth were involved in different games, including a few water fights. After the games, they all participated in a square dance. It was fun to watch them dance in groups and try to keep up with the steps.
After the dancing, we all had a barbecue and visited for a bit before we started the testimony meeting.

I often shudder at the evil that exists in the world today. It seems as though today’s youth don’t stand a chance against Satan’s subtle, yet powerful, influence. As I sat listening to these testimonies, I was blown away by the strength and the power of these young people.

Young men and women bore amazing testimonies as tears fell down their cheeks. A common theme with these testimonies was missionary work. One young man shared his conversion story. He said one day two young men came to his house and he let them in and pretended to listen to them. At the time he thought they were Catholic missionaries. When they asked to return he agreed, though he wasn’t sure why. When the missionaries returned he decided to listen to them and it changed his life. He found the gospel. He was so grateful for the two young men who didn’t give up on him.

Another visibly emotional young man talked about his oldest brother who served a mission and when he returned handed his name tag to the next oldest brother. When that brother returned from his mission, he handed the name tag to this young man. He said he will serve a mission and when he returns, he’ll hand it to his father who’s never served a mission and ask his dad to plan to serve. Wow—what a powerful testimony to his father.

A young man from South America asked a sister in attendance who was also from South America to translate his testimony in English. After he concluded, she took a few minutes to testify about missionary work. Missionaries found her parents 58 years ago. She bore a strong testimony of how those missionaries have changed so many lives. She also warned the young men to stay away from anything that might prevent them from serving a mission because someone was out there waiting just for them to bring the gospel message. She also counseled the young women to encourage the young men to serve and to never prevent the young men from serving.

Several youth bore testimonies and spoke about how someone in their school class invited them to come to church and taught them about the gospel. It was wonderful to hear about so many youth sharing their testimonies with their classmates and moving the work forward. I marvel at their courage.

I was so impressed by this testimony meeting. The Spirit was so strong and I was touched by how many kids were converts. Despite Satan, people are proclaiming the gospel. It will go forward.

We have the gospel of Jesus Christ. We have something that everyone needs and we must share it. We must prepare our children to share the gospel. We must open our mouths and shout to the world what a wonderful and blessed thing it is to have the gospel. If these kids can do it, so can I.

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Free To Choose

“We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam’s transgression.” 2nd Article of Faith

A basic belief of the LDS church is that we are all responsible and accountable for our own individual actions and choices, not for anyone else’s. The Savior’s plan that was presented to us in the pre-existence hinged on allowing us to make our own choices. While Satan wanted to compel us to keep the commandments, Jesus wanted us to choose to follow the commandments of our own free will. We are free to determine our own destinies. David O. McKay said, “Next to the bestowal of life, the right to direct that life is God’s greatest gift to man.” Of course, with that free agency also comes consequences.

One of my favorite lines in Gone with the Wind is when Rhett and Scarlett are visiting shortly after Frank Kennedy’s death and Scarlett says she’s so sorry for what she’s done, that Frank was Sue Ellen’s beau and that she should never have married him. Rhett replies that she’s just like the thief who isn’t the least bit sorry he’s done something wrong, only that he’s been caught.

Our society is all about evading consequences. We continue to develop vaccines to protect against sexually transmitted diseases so that people don’t have to be chaste. We support school programs that teach our kids to be “safe” when it comes to sexual behavior so that they can avoid AIDS or other STDs rather than teaching our kids to be sexually moral. Many lawyers constantly look for ways for their clients to avoid doing time for their crimes. We allow drunk drivers who kill innocent people to receive probation, thus avoiding paying the price for their choice to drink and drive. Even many of our politicians practice this same ideology. President Clinton was the epitome of trying to escape consequences for his actions. Our society teaches us that it’s fine to do whatever we want, just don’t get caught. This is man’s philosophy, not God’s.

Every day we are faced with choices and each of these choices has a consequence. If we choose to keep a commandment we receive the blessing for keeping that commandment. “There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated—And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated.” (Doctrine and Covenants 130:20-21).

However, when we choose to break a commandment, we must pay a price. At the very least, we will lose the accompaniment of the Holy Ghost. At worst, a choice we make may take the life of another, lead someone away from God, or destroy our own chance for exaltation. Regardless of what our society teaches, there is a consequence to every action and/or choice. If we aren’t prepared to accept a consequence, we should not make that choice.

We must also keep in mind that we are only blessed or punished for our own individual choices.

As we seek to teach others about our faith, we must clearly communicate what we believe about the freedom to choose. We choose our lifestyle. We can choose whether or not we’re honest. We make choices each day that show others whether or not we are trustworthy, dependable, or have integrity. We write our own story, compose our own melody, and are the architects of our own lives. As we do so, we will either enjoy the blessings from our choices or suffer the consequences.

Our choices determine not only our life’s path, but our eternal destiny. And, we will only be held responsible for our own individual choices, not for anyone else’s.

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The Father and The Son: Separate and Distinct

“We ought to be real students—students like no one else. … If we, in this lay Church, don’t become proficient in learning the gospel of Jesus Christ, who on earth will? If the elders of Israel do not become profound theologians, who on earth will? If you mothers and mothers-to-be don’t learn the gospel sufficiently to teach your children, who on earth will? And, you missionaries, if you don’t learn the message the Lord would have you teach, who on earth will? Many painfully discover the obvious—you can’t teach well that which you do not know!” (Joe J. Christensen, “Learning Is Everybody’s Business,” Ensign, Feb. 1979, pp. 64–65).

I’m going to focus on this quote as I blog about missionary work over the next several weeks. I will be writing about the basic beliefs of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in hopes that those who are not of our faith can learn more about us, and those of us who are LDS can strengthen our knowledge and be more effective as we teach the gospel to others.

The First Article of Faith states, “We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.” As we consider this basic belief, we must also contemplate the First Vision wherein Joseph Smith literally saw the Father and the Son.

One of the most important aspects that we learn from the First Vision is that young Joseph saw two distinct personages. Both the Father and the Son appeared and both spoke to him (Joseph Smith History 1:17-20). Many churches today believe in the trinity, that Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost are one being, not distinct separate, beings. We have been blessed to know that each member of the Godhead is distinct and separate from the other.

When I was a little girl, my mother was in search of the truth. After my father’s death, she desperately wanted answers. As a result, we investigated many different religions. I remember a specific instance when I was in a class and asked about where Jesus resided. The teacher responded that Jesus was all around us. I asked if he was in my heart and she said he was. I asked if he was in my hair and she said he was. I then asked if he was in my fingernail and, again, she replied that he was because he was everywhere all the time. Even though I was young, this simply did not make sense to me. I couldn’t believe that Jesus was everywhere all the time. I had always envisioned him as a person (in fact, I would say my prayers and then open my eyes as quickly as possible because I was sure he was there and I was determined to see him before he left my room). The idea that he was some sort of mist that could be everywhere at the same time didn’t seem right to me.

After my mother’s death, I discovered the LDS Church and soon learned that Jesus was once a mortal man who walked on the earth. He is now a resurrected being with flesh and bones, as is Heavenly Father. “The Father has a body of flesh and bones as tangible as man’s; the Son also; . . .” (Doctrine and Covenants 130:22). Heavenly Father and Jesus are separate personages.

This makes perfect sense to me.

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The Power of the Book of Mormon

My daughter met a young man while she was at college who had stopped attending the LDS Church when he was a youth. He even joined a different church. When a friend of his returned from his mission, this young man set out to prove why the LDS Church was false. He wanted to make sure his points were valid so he decided to study the Book of Mormon in an effort to find the holes in the gospel. A funny thing happened. As this young man studied the Book of Mormon, instead of finding holes, he found his own testimony. Though he is older than the other young men, he is now serving his mission and hoping to share with others what he learned himself in an unconventional way.

My own grandfather, a baptized member of the Church, spent a great deal of time reading and studying anti-Mormon literature. Based on these different books and articles, he drew false conclusions about the Church and was quite bitter towards it. I begged him to read the Book of Mormon, but he refused. Why? I suspect it’s because he didn’t want to know the truth.

The reason we are asked to share the Book of Mormon with others is because of the great power contained within its covers. Joseph Smith said, "I told the brethren that the Book of Mormon was the most correct of any book on earth, and the keystone of our religion, and a man would get nearer to God by abiding by its precepts, than by any other book."

The Book of Mormon contains the fullness of the gospel and testifies throughout its pages of the Savior and His mission. People can’t help but feel the truth and power of the Book of Mormon when they read it with a sincere heart.

The promise in Moroni 10: 3-5 says, “Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men . . . that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts. And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost. And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.”

The key to this scripture is that people must read the Book of Mormon with a sincere heart, with real intent, and believe that they will receive an answer. When missionaries find investigators who are truly searching for the truth, they will find it in the Book of Mormon.

As we’re involved in missionary work with our family, friends, and neighbors we must remember to invite them to read the Book of Mormon so they can feel for themselves the truthfulness and power contained in it.

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Conversations in Cyberspace

"There are conversations going on about the Church constantly. Those conversations will continue whether or not we choose to participate in them. But we cannot stand on the sidelines while others, including our critics, attempt to define what the Church teaches. While some conversations have audiences in the thousands or even millions, most are much, much smaller. But all conversations have an impact on those who participate in them. Perceptions of the Church are established one conversation at a time." Elder M. Russell Ballard

Back in the day (as my son likes to say) these conversations took place face-to-face or through letters. When I was a teenager, we didn’t have the internet so we didn’t have MySpace, Facebook, Chatting or Instant Messaging. The opportunity to communicate has now exploded and boundaries that existed some years back no longer exist.

We live in a time when we can converse about the gospel in any number of ways and the opportunities to do so are limitless. Elder Ballard encourages us to use technology to further the message of the gospel and to share our own experiences with others. Blogging has become a popular way to share our lives worldwide.

While we now have access to sharing the gospel in ways we never imagined years ago, it is important to remember that no matter how we converse about the Church, we must always do so with the Spirit.

Some people are simply curious about our beliefs and only want the basic information. Others have a genuine interest in changing their lives and are eager to learn about the restored gospel. Either way, we must present our message in a non-offensive and non-confrontational way.

Missionaries have been cautioned to not participate in “bible-bashing” or trying to convince someone of the truth by finding specific scriptures. I’ve learned over the years that you can find, and then interpret, scriptures to justify almost any cause. It does no good to argue about scriptures because contention is the weapon of the devil and none of those who participate in such arguments are edified.

Some years ago, a couple of members of another church stopped by my home with the intention of teaching me their beliefs. The gentleman showed me scripture after scripture to prove his points. I let him share his scriptures and then told him that I was young and didn’t know all of the scriptures yet, but that I knew, in my heart, that what I believed was right. I’d had a witness from God. He couldn’t dispute that.

Nothing is more powerful than bearing our testimonies. We do need to keep in mind though, as we use technology to teach others about the gospel, that we should always do it in the way the Savior would. We should be willing to answer questions and share our experiences, but never become embroiled in an argument, even in cyberspace. The Lord has blessed us with technology and if we use it correctly, we can spread the gospel in ways we’d never even imagined and change lives one conversation at a time.

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Church-Service Missions

"For those [youth honorably excused from full-time missionary labors] . . . , bishops may . . . identify appropriate local opportunities for Church or community service for a specified period of time (usually 6 to 24 months)." First Presidency letter, Jan. 30, 2004

For one reason or another, some young men or young women who desire to serve a mission may not be able to serve a full-time mission. For these young people, or others with a desire to serve, Church-Service missions give them the opportunity to serve without the complications of leaving home.

When my son was born and then diagnosed with Down syndrome, something that bothered me was the idea that he might have the opportunity to serve a mission. After all, in the LDS Church, we want our sons to serve missions and spend a great deal of time preparing our sons to serve. My youngest son may or may not be able to serve a full-time mission. He is still young enough that we don’t know what his particular challenges may or may not be. I am absolutely certain, though, that no matter what the world may see as his limitations, if Heavenly Father wants him to serve a full-time mission, then my son will do just that.

For those who cannot serve in the mission field, the Church offers other options. A young man with Down syndrome in a neighboring state served in the family history library. Other young men I know have served as stake missionaries and sometimes even had the opportunity to work with the full-time missionaries.

Those who serve while remaining at home generally work 8-32 hours each week and normally serve 6-24 months. Church-Service missionaries accomplish work-related services as a volunteer thus limiting paid positions and allowing the Church to use funds for programs.

A list of opportunities is available at www.lds.org. One opportunity now available includes answering questions from patrons about family history work and/or software, either on the phone or through email. Another opportunity includes supplementing the efforts of MTC tutors by allowing mission presidents and their wives and senior missionaries to practice language skills over the phone.

Those who are interested in serving a Church-Service mission will need to fill out an application and submit it to their bishop indicating how long they can serve and in what capacities. Generally, the duties of Church-Service missionaries are performed during the week and allow the missionaries to still fulfill ward and/or stake callings.

Opportunities available for service can be found at www.lds.org, through bulletins, bishops, and stake presidents.

I’m thankful there are plenty of ways to serve in the Church. I still hope my son will be able to serve a full-time mission, but if that’s not the case, I’m confident he will find a place where he can still serve and feel good that he’s helping increase the kingdom of God. Truly, it doesn’t matter where we serve, only how we serve.

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Missionary Opportunities for Couples

"Along with the need for young elders and sisters, there is a growing need for couples in the mission field. Older married couples are doing a wonderful work in the missions. Many more are needed. . . . With an increasing number of people retiring while they are still possessed of health and vitality, there are many who can fill a tremendous need in the work of the Lord."

President Gordon B. Hinckley

The Church is in need of couple missionaries. While the minimum age for serving a mission as a couple is 40, there is no maximum age as long as both the husband and the wife are in good health and can financially afford a mission. Many couples in their seventies are successfully serving missions. Couples who desire to serve missions may not have any dependent children at home and are not allowed to bring pets. If a couple has the responsibility to care for aging parents, they will need to make arrangements for the care of their parents while they are away.

Couples may serve missions in the following areas: Leadership, Temple, Family History, or Other Specialized Missions.

Leadership Missions include proselyting missions where they are involved in tracting and teaching people the gospel. It may also include working in the mission office or in a visitors center. Some couples may also serve medical missions where they help attend to the medical needs in an area.

Temple Missions include serving as ordinance workers. We have couples in our ward that serve in the temple each week as ordinance workers. They live at home, but since the travel time to the temple is 2 hours, most of the couples spend a night in a local hotel so they can serve the next day without traveling. We have a couple on our extended family that actually splits time between two different locations so they can serve in the temple for a few days and then spend the rest of the week attending to business and family duties.

Family History Missions may include serving in the Salt Lake City Genealogical Library helping patrons locate their genealogy, or couples may be involved in microfilming, preparing documents, or assisting in family history centers around the world. A member of my ward shared an experience last week of trying to translate some records from Italian and trying to decipher the handwriting.

Other Specialized Missions may include working with the Church Education System helping to set up Seminary and Institute programs, farm and agricultural help, public affairs, humanitarian services, or managing facilities. A bulletin is distributed regularly that calls for help in specialized areas and gives the requirements necessary for service in these areas.

Unlike young, single missionaries, couple missionaries can choose the amount of time they wish to serve. Couples usually serve 12, 18, or 23 months.

While it can be a difficult choice to leave family behind, the Lord needs couples to serve missions. My husband and I both hope to serve a mission together. It may be many years down the road (we’ll have dependent children for a long time) but we’re hopeful that with careful financial planning we’ll be able to serve.

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Senior Missionary Couples

When we think about missionaries, we generally envision young men in suits and white shirts and young women in simple, modest clothing serving the Lord before they marry. To the world, our missionary force seems to be viewed as one of young people. However, many senior couple missionaries also serve.

My mother-in-law served a mission with her husband in Boston, Massachusetts. They worked in the office and both of them enjoyed their time in the mission field immensely. A couple in my ward served a mission in Texas. They both speak fondly of the time they spent there, teaching people about the Book of Mormon. In fact, they shared a story about their mission just last week in Sunday School. Couples who choose to serve missions can provide valuable service to the Lord.

Of course, it’s hard to think about Mom and Dad or Grandma and Grandpa leaving to serve a mission because they might miss out on births, weddings, graduations, ordinations, or other important family events. We have been promised that though they may miss some of these special family times, not only will they be blessed for their service, but so will the entire family.

When older couples consider serving a mission, they need to take some things into consideration.

Health

Both the husband and the wife should be in good health and be able to maintain a rigorous schedule. Not all senior couples will be tracting, but the daily schedule is similar to what is expected for the young missionaries. Couples need to carefully consider their health and what it takes to maintain good health, especially if their mission call should be in a country where healthcare may not be what they’ve experienced in their home country.

Finances

The cost for couple missionaries varies from mission to mission, but couples should have enough money to easily live a year or more in another country. Couples may begin saving for a mission many years ahead of time, or the family may consider financially helping the couple to serve. In any case, there needs to be enough funds so that money issues do not arise while serving and the couple can concentrate on their mission not their finances.

Family

All the members of the family should be encouraged to support the missionary couple. Yes, family members will miss the couple, but they will learn valuable lessons of service as they watch older family members sacrifice to serve the Lord. When couples feel that their family supports their decision, they can leave the family without hesitation and trust that the Lord will care for their family while they are gone.

Senior couples who desire to serve missions should meet with their bishop to determine if they are ready to serve. The call for senior couples has been issued many times and those of us who are in that season of our lives should strive to serve a mission if at all possible. Couple missionaries can offer something to a mission that young people can’t, and there may be those in that area who can only be touched by a senior couple.

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More Misson Prep.

In an earlier post, I mentioned ways families can help young people prepare to serve missions. Suggestions included having regular Family Home Evenings, having consistent scripture study and prayers, setting an example of faithfulness, encouraging high-school age children to attend seminary, providing opportunities for children to gain and strengthen testimonies, and finding time to discuss the gospel.

In addition to these, other areas in which parents can help future missionaries prepare include:

1. Personal Fitness

My son was not interested in sports at all in high school. He was involved in theater and constantly amazed me with his performance skills. However, when he began his mission, he wasn’t as physically fit as he might have been. A mission is not only hard spiritually and emotionally, it’s also physically demanding. The more a young man or woman can become physically fit, the better.

2. Finances

If a prospective missionary hasn’t learned how to balance his funds, difficulties may arise while he is far from home. Allow a future missionary to have a checking account and teach him how to keep it balanced.

Despite my attempts to explain the income/outgo process as it relates to finances, some of my kids still seem to think there’s a big money tree that grows in the backyard. Now that my oldest daughter has attended college for a year, she’s much more aware of money and what it takes to survive. A year or more of living on their own will certainly teach future missionaries how to handle finances.

3. Social Skills

Those who learn how to communicate and socialize with others will be better missionaries. Young men and women who have associated with many different people will be better able to relate to those investigating The Church. Learning to be compassionate and understanding of others’ beliefs and situations will make prospective missionaries more effective as they go out into the world with the gospel message.

4. Household Skills

Young men and women should know how to wash clothes, iron, sew, and cook.

I admit, I’ve failed my children at this. Sure, they can pour cold cereal, boil water for some Top Ramen, or make spaghetti, but I haven’t given them a course in cooking. Nor have I turned over laundry to them. In fact, I had to write laundry instructions on a piece of paper just before my son entered the MTC (I’m talking a few minutes before we walked into the building with him) so he wouldn’t ruin his clothes. I was pleased to hear that his shirts were still white and he hadn’t washed them with his jeans after his first few weeks at the MTC. I’ve also been relieved to know that he hasn’t attempted to wash his suits. Maybe I haven’t been such a failure after all.

The more we can help our sons and daughters prepare to serve missions, the better missionaries they’ll be. The most effective missionaries are those that are well-prepared before entering the mission field.

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In The World

We have been counseled to be in the world, but not of the world. I’ve carefully considered this counsel over the years to determine what it means.

The world is a scary place. It doesn’t take more than a few minutes of listening to the news to realize the evil and wickedness that surrounds us. Reports of murders and acts of violence are commonplace. Even more frightening, are the reports of school violence. When I was in high school, I’d never heard of any school shootings and now, it’s not uncommon to hear a report of another student bringing a gun to school and opening fire on other students. Even in our high school, a student was apprehended with a gun and my children were in a lockdown situation for a few hours. On that same day, my younger children were in a lockdown in our elementary school while a member of our community was in a standoff with the sheriff’s department.

With all of this violence it may seem reasonable to shelter our children and hide from all that’s going on in the world. We may be tempted to shut ourselves off from others in an effort to protect our families. We may even take it so far as to separate ourselves from those we feel are living unrighteously. We may encourage our children to not associate with those who we believe are making bad choices.

This is a fine line and relates directly to the counsel to live in the world, but not of the world. We, as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, must live in this world. Heavenly Father created it for us. He has abundantly blessed us. Yet, we must also be careful to not condone nor support behaviors or activities that we know oppose God’s teachings.

This is when we must learn to separate people from behaviors. Yes, we do not want to have close associations with those who seek to drag us down or sway us from the path back to Heavenly Father, but we must be careful to not close ourselves off so tightly from our neighbors that we shelter ourselves and our families and lose opportunities to share the gospel.

My kids have friends at school that don’t live the gospel. In fact, before meeting my kids, most of their friends didn’t know anything about The Church. It has been through the associations with my children that many others have learned about the gospel. I counsel my kids to be kind and respectful to those around them, but to choose their closest friends wisely. When my son was in high school, one of his close friends had very different standards, yet he always respected my son and his standards. In fact, at one point my son’s friend volunteered to live the standards in For the Strength of the Youth for a month. That may not have ever happened had my son not associated with him. Though none of my children’s friends have joined The Church, hopefully they will have good feelings about it and, perhaps, someday they may be interested enough to investigate and join.

We can’t bring the gospel to others if we deny all associations with them. We must hold fast to our own standards and stay on the right path, but as we do that, we should befriend those around us and invite them to follow the same path without being judgmental. Though we may be tempted to shelter ourselves from the world, we can only be effective missionaries when we are in the world.

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Eternal Perspective

Recently, I received an e-mail with several photos of people “holding the sun.” Each photo showed someone with the sun in their hands, between their knees, or on top of their nose. Of course, we can’t hold the sun because, among other things, it’s far too large. But, from the perspective of these photos, it appeared that people were actually doing just that.

Objects in the foreground always look larger than what is in the background. A six-foot tree may look as though it looms over mountains in the distance, depending on your perspective. A telephone pole a few feet away may appear much taller than one a mile down the road, even though they are both the same height.
It’s all about perspective and how you view things. As mortals we tend to have a limited view and a much different perspective than Heavenly Father. He sees the whole picture, while we tend to focus on only one corner of it.

My son was born with Trisomy 21, more commonly known as Down syndrome, which means he has an extra chromosome. The presence of this extra genetic material affects each person differently, though people with Down syndrome tend to have common physical characteristics. Because of these characteristics, people with Down syndrome can usually be easily recognized. With this recognition comes prejudice and pre-determined judgments because those who make these judgments have short-sighted perspectives, they choose to not see beyond the physical characteristics.

Does Heavenly Father only see my son as someone who has an extra chromosome? Absolutely not. When I peer into my son’s eyes, I can see far beyond his physical being. I have no doubt at all that he will accomplish his purpose here on earth because I see him with an eternal perspective. I know that mortality is only a portion of his life and when he leaves mortality, he will not have the physical limitations he may experience here.

When we can see past others’ choices, limitations, or weaknesses and see them as Heavenly Father does, as children of God with divine natures and individual worth, we can then see why it is so important to bring them the message of the gospel. An eternal perspective changes everything and with that kind of perspective, we can be more effective in sharing the gospel. Heavenly Father wants all of his children to return to him. He wants everyone to have the peace that comes from the gospel. The more we can see beyond what’s right in front of us, the more Heavenly Father can use us to bring about his purposes.

We need to put off our “natural man” and see the whole picture. Instead of judging others and making decisions based on our own limited perspective, we need to reach out and share what we have with everyone that we can. Most of all, we need to have an eternal perspective and realize that just because a tree looks taller than a mountain, it isn’t necessarily so.

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Warming Our Neighbors

Some years ago (more than I’d like to admit), I was a young mother with two small children. My husband had been offered a job in another state so we moved our little family. We hadn’t lived in our new ward for long when the missionaries stopped by. We invited them in and they shared a short message with us about being member missionaries. They then asked us to make a list of 10 names and to pray about the names until we had a list of 5 names. They said they would return the following week and for our list of 5 names and the times we could set up appointments for them to teach the people on our list.

After they left, I was utterly overwhelmed. I had a strong testimony of the gospel and certainly wanted to share it, but I was new in the area and suddenly felt all this pressure to not only meet people, but try to set up appointments for them to learn about the gospel.

We prayed about it, but I felt so stressed about the request from the missionaries, I couldn’t feel any promptings. When the missionaries returned, we explained that we had prayed, but didn’t have any names to give them yet because we didn’t know many people in the area. Giving them names wouldn’t have been any more helpful than having them tract out people themselves. They weren’t pleased, but agreed to visit us again when we felt we had some names of people who would truly be interested in the gospel.

Since that time, we’ve moved and we’ve met with the missionaries on numerous occasions. The missionaries now ask us for names of people we know, that we’ve prayed about, and that we feel would be the most receptive to the message of the gospel. No pressure, no stress. The trick isn’t in quantity of names referred to the missionaries, but the quality, or the readiness, of those names.

Spencer W. Kimball said, “Usually we must warm our neighbors, before we warn them properly. Our neighbors must experience our genuine friendship and fellowship.” (Ensign, Nov. 1976, p. 140).

Statistics show that the most effective missionary work in The Church comes from member referrals. Why? Because when we refer our friends and neighbors, people who know and trust us, barriers are removed and the missionaries can spend their time teaching people who are genuinely seeking the truth rather than tracting out people who have no interest.

It takes time and effort to build a friendship. We can’t simply run into someone’s life and expect him to be interested in the gospel. We must show our friends and neighbors that we love them and because we love them, we want to share something that is important to us. They will be much more receptive to the gospel when they feel we are sharing it because we love them.

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Ideas to Assist Missionaries

When Elder and Sister Vaughan J. Featherstone were serving a mission in Texas, Sister Featherstone was feeling frustrated that she couldn’t find any time for herself. She was so busy with her mission duties, she couldn’t find any time to devote to herself. She prayed about it, and the answer came that this was not her time, it was the Lord’s time. She then realized that she needed to focus completely on her mission and not worry about herself. (Ensign, Nov. 1978, pg. 26).

It is the Lord’s time. It isn’t a time to worry about the outside world, but to concentrate fully on serving the Lord by teaching the gospel. All of the missionaries’ time and effort should be dedicated to his or her mission. There will be plenty of time for missionaries to think about schooling, marriage, family, professions, and even retirement for senior missionaries.

Here are some ideas for members to assist missionaries in furthering the work of the Lord:

1. Introduce nonmembers or less-active member to the missionaries. Provide opportunities for the missionaries to meet your friends such as inviting all of them to dinner. Bring friends to ward activities where the missionaries will be attending and make a point to introduce your friends to the missionaries.

2. Tell the missionaries when you have placed a Book of Mormon with someone so the missionaries can follow-up.

3. When new missionaries arrive in an area, apprise them of the work that has been done and help them to meet those who are currently investigating the gospel. The more you can update the missionaries, the less time they have to spend learning that same information.

4. Youth should be very careful to respect the missionaries as representatives of the Lord. They should not invite the missionaries to parties or other youth social activities. They should never be alone with a member of the opposite sex, even if the situation seems harmless. A Stake President once told me that the biggest threat to a missionary is a Laurel. Young women should especially be on their guard and not flirt with young elders.

5. Pray for missionary experiences and to have the missionary spirit. Look for opportunities for the missionaries to share the gospel with those you know. Include the Lord as you seek for those the missionaries can teach.

6. Set a good example for your neighbors. Let others see by the light in your life how the gospel brings you peace and happiness. Show others how excited you are to have the gospel in your life. Your example may pique the interest of those around you and set the stage for missionaries to teach them.

Members can make a big difference in how successful missionaries are in their area. The more assistance members can offer the missionaries, the more success missionaries will have in bringing the blessings of the gospel to others.

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Obedience

After Adam and Eve were cast out of the Garden of Eden, Adam offered the firstlings of their flocks unto the Lord. An angel appeared to Adam and asked him why he was offering sacrifices. “ . . .And Adam said unto him: I know not, save the Lord commanded me,” (Moses 5:6). Adam didn’t know why he was offering these animals, only that he had been commanded to do so. Adam was willing to be obedient even when he didn’t understand why.

One year, my father presented my mother with diamond stud earrings. Since they were a young couple, they couldn’t really afford such an extravagant gift, but he wanted to give my mom something special. Not too long after that, my father was killed in an automobile accident. Those earrings became a symbol of a love and marriage that was tragically cut short.

A few years later, my mother let a neighbor pierce my ears. The neighbor marked my ears and then took a needle and thread and pierced my ears. Again, my small family was forever changed when my mother passed away.

As I grew into a teenager, the holes in my ears became uneven. I didn’t want my earrings to look off-balance so my grandmother allowed me to have them pierced again. Since I then had two holes in my ears, I chose to wear one of my mother’s diamond studs in one ear and gave the other stud to my sister to wear.

I wore my mother’s diamond stud earring for years and years in addition to another pair of earrings. I never removed my mom’s earring because it was symbolic to me and very sentimental. One day, I listened to President Hinckley as he reiterated the counsel about body piercings. He asked that we only wear one pair of earrings. I was torn. I reasoned that it was such a small earring; no one would know the difference. I also believed that wearing that one earring would not change my testimony or cause me to fall away from the church. I could absolutely justify wearing my mom’s earring, until I realized it was really a question of obedience.

Was I willing to be obedient even though I didn’t understand or necessarily agree? Would an earring really stop me from progressing? I decided to remove the earring in hopes of helping me become more obedient in other things.

Just as Adam was obedient, so must missionaries be obedient to the Lord by obeying the mission rules. Some of the rules may not make sense or the missionaries may not agree with them, but there is power in obedience. As missionaries bend their wills to the Lord’s will and serve with obedience in all things, they will be blessed in their efforts to teach the gospel.

Mission rules are there for a reason. Whether the rules are to keep the missionaries safe physically or spiritually, it’s imperative that missionaries keep the rules because obedience brings forth blessings.

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Respect for Missionaries' Time

The young men and women who serve missions sacrifice 18 months-2 years of their lives. While their peers are advancing through college, earning money, and experiencing social activities, these young people are out preaching the gospel. Many have worked and saved their own money to pay for their missions and when they return from their missions, many have very little money left. Many missionaries miss out on weddings, births, and other family celebrations while they are gone.

The families of the missionaries also sacrifice. They miss out on time with their sons and daughters. A definite void is left in a family when a son or daughter leaves. Even though I was excited for my son to serve his mission, I didn’t realize how much I would miss his energy and enthusiasm. It’s been strange that he isn’t here for dinner or for FHE or even tormenting his siblings during church until they cry. Our family dynamics changed when he left and it took some time to become accustomed to his absence.

Families often help financially as well and have to sacrifice temporally to help their missionary serve.

While a missionary is out in the field his time is dedicated to serving the Lord. It is important that he spend his time appropriately so the Spirit can inspire him to find people searching for the truth.

Members of the wards or branches where the missionaries serve have a responsibility to help the missionaries stay on track and use their time wisely. Someone once said to me, “I’ll have the elders come over and weed my garden. After all, that’s why they’re here, to serve us, right?” Well, no. The missionaries are not here to plant gardens, paint members’ homes, watch movies, or hang out. While it can help investigators when missionaries do service for them, it is wrong for members to use missionaries as their own work force. Members must be careful to never infringe on missionaries’ time.

Here is the schedule that missionaries are encouraged to keep:
6:30 am Wake up
7:00 am Companion Study
8:00 am Breakfast
8:30 am Personal Study
9:30 am Proselyting
Noon Lunch
1:00 pm Proselyting
5:00 pm Dinner
6:00 pm Proselyting
9:30 pm End Proselyting; Plan
10:30 pm Go To Sleep

Most of the time is dedicated to proselyting because the whole reason we send missionaries out is to share the gospel. As members, we need to do as much as we can to encourage the missionaries serving in our wards to keep their schedule and to devote their time and efforts to finding and teaching people.

Missionaries are also asked to write to their parents once a week, contact the Mission President each week, stay within their area boundaries, to not be alone with a member of the opposite sex, to not write to people within their mission boundaries, to avoid debt, and to keep their focus solely on their mission.

The more that members living in the area can help missionaries stay focused, the more the Lord can pour out His blessings.

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Missionary Work is Rigorous

“Missionary work is rigorous. It is demanding. It is difficult. It has never been easy and it never will be. It requires strength of body, strength of mind, strength of spirit.” Gordon B. Hinckley

One of the reasons we moved to the country was to allow our kids to learn a work ethic. We wanted to allow them the opportunity to be responsible for animals and the work it takes to care for animals on a daily basis.

My oldest son wanted to raise pigs. Since I’m a city girl, I really had no idea what it meant to raise pigs and my husband’s family had raised cattle. We built a pen and then bought four piglets. A neighbor donated an 800 lb. sow. We were set, or so we thought.

Those pigs were all Houdinis. They could get out of their pen in the blink of an eye. Of course, they only chose to do so when my husband was out of town. And, pigs are not like cows, horses, sheep, or goats—they don’t herd, they don’t come when you call, and you can’t “talk” them into their pen. In fact, when you get close to pigs, they usually scatter in all different directions.

Late one night, while my husband was away on business, I heard a noise out in the side yard. Sure enough, the pigs were out. I dressed and then asked my son (I still say I asked in a very nice way, though my son will argue that point) to come help since, after all, they were his pigs.

We spent the next hour or two chasing pigs up and down our driveway, through our yard, around the sheds, and into the fields. To say we weren’t pleased would be a mild description. Both my son and I were ready to make them all into bacon on the spot. The sow was the worst because anything that weighs 800 lbs. can really do whatever it pleases.

My son stuck it out, though, and we finally succeeded in putting them all back in the pen and then fixing the fence so they couldn’t get out again (or so we told ourselves). I think my son learned a valuable lesson that night—don’t give up, even when something seems impossible.

We worked our son hard during his teenage years with building fences, caring for animals, and working around our property (when you have almost 40 acres there’s always plenty to do). Even when he didn’t want to work, we made him get up and work anyway, all the while telling him it was preparation for his mission. I’m pretty sure there were times he didn’t believe us. I think he figured his mission would be easy compared to what we asked of him.

I think he now believes us. He’s been in the mission field for over 21 months and a constant theme when he writes is how hard it is to be a missionary. He says he’s never worked so hard in his life and never loved it so much.

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Faith in Jesus Christ

To better serve as a full-time or member missionary it’s important to have a basic understanding of the fundamental principles of the gospel.

The first principle of the gospel is faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are often accused of not being Christians even though the name Jesus Christ is included in the title. The reason some claim we are not Christians is because of our belief that Lucifer and Jesus are brothers.

Other religions do not believe in the pre-existence where we all enjoyed relationships as brothers and sisters, and children to heavenly parents before mortality. We believe that we were all created as spirits before we were born. We learned and grew spiritually while in the pre-existence and for a time we lived in harmony and peace.

We believe that before Adam was placed on this earth we had a war in heaven. Lucifer, a spirit brother also known as Satan, presented a plan which included forcing all of mankind to keep the commandments while they sojourned in mortality. He promised not a soul would be lost because everyone would be compelled to live the gospel and in so doing would return to live with God after they left mortality.

Jesus, on the other hand, presented a plan that allowed each of us to make our own choices while on earth and to live the gospel at our own discretion. It would be up to each individual to make his own choices and then to live with the consequences of those choices. We would not be forced nor compelled. Only those who chose of their own free will to keep the commandments would be able to return to live in God’s presence after mortality.

Lucifer’s plan was rejected in favor of Jesus’ plan. Lucifer, or Satan, and his spirit followers were cast out of heaven and will never be allowed the opportunity to receive a mortal body.

Jesus and Satan are spirit brothers just like the rest of us. We all share the same Heavenly Father who created our spirits. It is only through faith on the Lord Jesus Christ that we may return to live with Heavenly Father again some day, “ . . . for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.” (Acts 4:12)

It is this faith that drives us to live the gospel as we seek to replace our natural tendencies with spiritual ones. It is this faith that motivates us to make righteous choices even when they are difficult. It is this faith that induces us to sacrifice our time and selfish desires to serve God and share the gospel. It is this faith that refines us and perfects us as we live in mortality.

The most important thing we can teach others is to have faith in Jesus Christ. It is our message to invite everyone, everywhere to come unto Christ.

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